Meow Meow: What You Can Learn About Freelancing From Cats

1316 words - 6 pages

Behold, peasants of the freelancing realm, for kings and queens of the Internet have something to say to you. Listen carefully, because royals do not repeat. Even though their only job is to be cute and exploit the affections of humanity, cats can give you some valuable insights about making your freelance business more effective and, therefore, profitable (which will lead to you buying more expensive treats for your kitty, so don’t think that their intentions are purely charitable). Therefore, listen!
Sleep Well
18 hours a day. Have you heard? 18 hours a day! Your cat is spending the majority of his life drifting in the realm of dreams about endless supplies of tuna, Internet fame and dogs minimized to the size of flea, while you are struggling to earn him those goods.
You don’t need as much sleep as your cute feline does, however, make sure to have a good slumber. Sleep-deprived freelancer is grumpy, laggard and unproductive. His brain does not work as it should, he does not come up with new ideas, he does a sucky job, and he has no desire to work whatsoever. Advice of kitty:
Have a nap, regain you strength, and get back to work. But before that, pet me.
Take Care of Yourself
Sweet benefit of freelancer’s routine: you can dress in rags, your desk can look as if a stampede ran over it, and you can work while sitting on a bathroom throne and enjoying (not really) a serious case of diarrhea – no one will care.
Kitties, on the other hand, are rather obsessed with being neat and tidying everything around them. Even if that involves licking their private parts in front of you, rest assured, they will be in their top form. No excuses.
This should be your policy too. I know, it’s very tempting to spend all the day hanging around in an old sweatshirt and piling up empty coffee mugs near your laptop. But that does not create a productive aura around you. In fact, it undermines it.
Therefore, make sure to clean your desk, change into something that radiates “I am here to work” and, in general, treat your freelancing hours as you would treat a regular job.
Know Your Value
Every single person that ran into a cat at some point will confirm: there’s only one person that is important for cat and it is the cat himself. Cats care little about the others and, when they care, it’s for rather selfish reasons only. They want to be fed, snuggled or played with.
Take notes, humans! In your freelance career the most important person is you. Others are more or less irrelevant, even if they are your clients. Don’t let anyone treat you like a trash and make sure that everyone knows: you are in charge here.
You give your clients the results they pay for. Case closed. Complying with idiotic rules is not included. Thus, no monitoring of your work through some software, no endless edits based on ridiculous comments, and definitely no initial 95% discounts. When they place an order of $10000, they can have a discount of $100. It will be used for buying a bottle of good...

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