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Mind And Love: Childhood In A Family Environment

2028 words - 9 pages

From the very first day of birth, a child is showered with feelings. Feelings not just limited to love and hatred, but also with roller coasters of emotions. Although human brain development is a lifelong process, it begins forming in early as prenatal life. It is no surprise the brain is more impressionable during early life than in maturity. Endow with life supporting power, brain works in two ways; consciously and unconsciously. The conscious part involves a physical aspect, something that five senses send to the brain and process it. While dealing with conscious function of the brain, it decides what event/s to save as memories and others to ignore. The same process implies with the ...view middle of the document...

Either of the environment will shape the child’s mentality accordingly. When it comes to love, the basic theory is we select mates who are more or less equal. If a boy in his early childhood is around his mother who is nurturing, care takers, good cook, and a giver, it is no surprise later in his life, the boy turned man will be looking for a girl with similar nature. It goes similar to a child raised in a family whose mother might be demanding, receiver in a relation, and hard to please. The child growing in this environment will get attracted to similar women, regardless of her hard nature. The unconscious mind is used to coping with such situations, that it tends us to get attracted to the opposite sex of similar nature. If a child is abused, or have a negative impression about love, his thinking toward a relationship would not be anything more than negativity. Human brain forms a path, it stores all of its memories to remind us about incidents. A series of bad incident leaves a mark in the brain, creating fear that would last a lifetime. Like the saying “the first cut is the deepest,” child’s first memories about love would play the role in his love life in later aspect.
The process of falling love starts with liking someone, attraction to the next person. Attraction, to like somebody, falling in love, all sounds simple in general, but when one looks deep inside, it is an unconscious mind playing its mind game. Hendricks has classified human brain logic into two categories: the new-brain logic, and the old-brain logic. The old-brain logic is locked in archaic perspective, and we tend to be looking for “the one” along with its negative and positive aspect. Hendricks explains that the phenomenon of attraction is linked to predominant character traits of people who raised us. He explains that we fall in love because our old brain has our partner confused with our parents. This process links to healing childhood wounds, where our brain believes we finally found the ideal candidate to make up for the psychological and emotional damage experienced in childhood. I can relate to this theory personally. I spent my childhood days, since first grade till I enrolled in college in a dorm with friends rather than my parents. With little to none connection with my mother, I always have felt the emptiness, and distant in life. When I entered the dating field, and found “the one” my brain was filling the space and healing the wounds I had in my childhood days. I was seeking for a nurturing, caring, and warm nature women who can provide me the missing link. Before reading the chapters I had little to no idea it was the doing of my unconscious mind. It is surprising how little details in early life play a key role in attracting process.
Like Freud labeled humans as an “insatiable being”, we are very hard to please and meet our requirements. There is more than one reasons more a child to insatiable. Even the perfect, and devoted parents, no matter how hard...

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