‘‘Every personality develops continually from the stage of infancy until death, and throughout this span it persists even though it changes (Donnellan and Conger, 2007). As I look back at my own life, I recall the questions that I was faced with around age 18 to age 27. I grew up in an authoritative type of parenting where all of us, eight children, were very close. So conformity was almost the base of my upbringing, in a society where solidarity was a must for us. As enter adulthood, adolescents ideas were still lingering for couple more years, then came that to answer the real question, what do I as an adult? However the real question was what was I to become as time passes? Those are two different questions, the first one suggesting the experience or the road I had to take to reach a destination, which is the building or the establishment of my identity as an adult as it answers the second question. Berk (2010) stated, when released from the oversight of parents, 18-25 year-olds engage in a variety of activities to find their niche as adults because at those ages, they are not well verse with the role of adulthood yet. Around those ages, the young adults are in search, without knowing, or trying to establish their own identity. For the purpose of this discussion, I will review the identity development and how it is linked to individuation.
The need for personal uniqueness or distinctiveness has been postulated to be both an important social value and even a fundamental human need (Boucher & Maslach, 2009). Each person seeks to become someone that they have conceived in their mind. As they go through their personal experiences, they start establishing their identity, which is a complex self-concept that includes awareness or their own changing traits and values over time, with enhanced self-esteem (Berk, 2010). In her book “There’s a Hole in my Sidewalk”, Portia Nelson (1977) wrote,
“I walk down the street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I fall in.
I am lost... I am helpless. It isn't my fault. It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I pretend I don't see it. I fall in again. I can't believe I am in the same place. But, it isn't my fault. It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I see it is there. I still fall in. It's a habit. My eyes are open. I know where I am. It is my fault. I get out immediately.
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk. I walk around it.
I walk down another street.”
This is what she called an autobiography in five short chapters. As I review the five short chapters, it gave me the understanding of the adulthood and how individual learn to established their identity through personal experiences. Because emerging adults are not close to taking on adult responsibilities, so they make mistakes, which at first they did not...