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Best Man Wedding Toast Essay

1029 words - 4 pages

Best Man Wedding Speech

Its turning out to be a day packed full new experiences for me. It’s the first time I’ve had the honour of being a best man, It’s the first time that Brandon has complimented me in over 30 years, and it’s the first time I’ve got a free dinner out of him since that kebab he bought me back in 93. So far things have been going pretty well…until now. Start the car Steve.

Ladies, Gentlemen, boys, girls Brandon and Lisa,

First of all, let me begin on behalf of the bridesmaids, Michelle, Ellie, Hannah and Emily, I would like to thank Brandon for his kind words, and I have to say they look absolutely wonderful and have done an excellent job today.

The great thing about being a best man, which incidentally is short for best Brandon can manage, is that you get to paint a picture of the man whom Lisa has just committed the rest of her life to.

A man is best described through his actions and despite having known Brandon for nearly thirty years now I think I could probably describe all of his actions within the next five minutes.

Not that he is lazy, far from it, rather than be a jack of all trades he prefers to carefully focus his efforts

When asked once in the pub what where his favourite hobbies and pastimes, after serious thought and consideration he replied, ‘I quite like sitting’.

So here before us is a man who dedicates his free time to the conservation of energy and the environment. Although if he was honest he’s not bothered as to whether the environments green or not, just as long as it’s comfy.

I don’t remember meeting Brandon for the first time, he just kind of appeared many, many years ago before I was old enough to have a memory. However, that may well be a good thing, because some of those early memories are quiet disturbing.

During the mid to late seventies Brandon was quiet convinced that he was 70’s motorcycle pin up Erik Estrada from Chips.

(At this point I held up a picture of this guy and compared it with a picture of 7 year old Brandon to emphasise how dissimilar they looked)

He also thought that Cola Cubes made him bionic! A tip that you might like to pick up on there Lisa!

Its testimony to Lisa & Brandons relationship that he’s now over Erik, and Brandons smile has now returned following that fateful afternoon back in 1980 when, out of his mind on a quarter of cola cubes he attempted his first and last ever non-handed bicycle jump.

I think I can sum up the moment by combining the words, crown jewels and crossbars. In fact it’s a miracle of medicine that Brandon did not just deliver his speech to you today in the style of Joe Pescuali.

As Brandon progressed to becoming a teenager he found that if he took his cola cubes in liquid form and added a decent shot of Vodka, he became even more bionic! Of course some of...

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