Mr. Nice Guy Essay

956 words - 4 pages

It is a well-known stereotype that “nice guys finish last.” I use the term “stereotype” loosely, because, at times, it can feel like a universal law of nature. Most of us know how it goes. Two guys, one nice; the other not, both vie for the attentions of the same girl. The nice guy is ever sympathetic, expressive, and kind, but for all his efforts, the other guy, effortlessly employing an uncanny maneuver called “Being a Jack-Ass,” gets the girl. Thus, in the most paradoxical of paradoxes, it is in being almost exactly what women claim to want that many respectable young men fail miserably. And it is miserable. There is no greater injustice or frustration than that which spawns from watching someone you care about: someone who is worth the world and more to you walk away with someone who, as often as not, couldn’t care less. I can think of no more appropriate context for the expression “like casting pearls before swine.”

Now, I will grant that not every male on the planet is a misogynistic asshole. A lot of guys are by default perceived that way because of the before mentioned theft of affections. However, if he proves himself respectable and honorable, I should think that an honest nice guy would eventually come to terms with the fact that girl-in-question could have done a lot worse. On the one hand, it is tragic that she’s with another man, but on the other, there’s a certain righteousness in the first man’s sacrifice. We’ve all seen Casablanca, (or, if you haven’t, you may be exactly the other kind of guy I mentioned). Other examples include A Tale of Two Cities, and The Phantom of the Opera. In each, the one man relinquishes the woman he loves that she might be happy in a life with another, and possibly a better, man. And I’m ok with that. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m talking about when she’s lost to the other kind of “man.”

When something like that happens to a guy of the nice persuasion, the finger of blame points in all directions. The most obvious fault falls to the pathetic excuse for a male specimen, first and foremost for usurping the nice guy’s pursuit, and only secondarily for being a shining example of the primitive behaviors that accompany a lack-witted dunce that grunts and gestures violently for want of any other communication skills. Next, the fault turns to the female in question, due to her failure to see the mindless ape for what he really is. To the nice guy, this lapse is the most incredible and incomprehensible thing. For the Love of God, why can’t she see what she’s looking at. Of course, this sometimes loops the blame and anger back to the other guy, because some men are cunning and...

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