Muffin Day: Dad & Daughter Tradition

1132 words - 5 pages

Beloved family traditions don’t always start out as beloved. Muffin day was hell at first. I hated it. My husband began muffin day in 2009 when our first daughter started kindergarten, and her younger sister joined them two years later. They lived for Muffin Day. I did not. To me, muffin day meant making lunches at warp speed before dawn. We lived 20 minutes from school, which made our usual early morning even earlier. While my husband showered, I begrudging pulled sleepy little girls from their warm beds, which lead to whining, threats of lateness and all around muffin morning unhappiness.

Blissfully unaware of muffin day’s darker side, a whistling and clean-shaven muffin day creator ...view middle of the document...

” I understood; they missed their daddy. Still, the chairs went back.

While laughing about my experience with my friend Tara, she said, “This is crazy, but seriously, did you ever think maybe they like getting grilled on spelling words? It’s a different relationship from yours. They might like it that way. ” No, I hadn’t thought of that…ever. And, yes she was right. Their relationship is really none of my business. He’s doing wonderfully on his own anyway and I’d somehow forgotten that.

I had a new outlook. I invited myself to muffin day again. This time, they all giggled when I turned my head. I finally asked, what the deal was. “Well,” my husband said, “Muffin day is different with you here. They can’t move their chairs.” I asked my older daughter to elaborate, “Mom, I love you. You’re just ‘unfun’ on muffin day.” What? Not fun! I asked my younger daughter. She could barely make eye contact and shrugged her shoulders indifferently. But then repeatedly shook her head yes. And so that day, I abdicated from muffin day. I got it. I was careful not to appear sad. It was a wonderful learning experience for them to share their feelings with me. I said, “I completely get it. And, truthfully, I like that you have this special time with Dad.” My little one said, “are you sad?” I said, “sweetheart, I feel happy that you have muffin day with Dad and that you shared your feelings with me.” Still, when they weren’t looking, I gave my husband a look and “the bird” to go with it. As they all drove off together for school, it was adorably hilarious but I was also stunned. Stunned that a plan existed to oust me from muffin day. Somehow they truly liked the stopwatch. It was their relationship; not mine to control.

When we moved two towns over, the girls had to say goodbye to muffin days at Me & Ollie’s in Greenland, New Hampshire. They’d made many muffin day friends and couldn’t imagine muffin day at any other place. When muffin day started in our new city, Portsmouth, NH they were unimpressive. Part of me didn’t get this. Historic...

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