My Continued Complete Refutation Of The Bible Verse By Verse: Leviticus

2240 words - 9 pages

LEVITICUS

I-IX: Rather than subject you to constantly re-reading the same detailed instructions for sacrificing animals to your god repeated ad nauseum (no pun intended), suffice it to say that God demands a clean animal to be slaughtered with the blood spread all over the place before having the body cut up (after the head has been wrung off) and burnt to give a sweet savour unto the Lord.
iii.16-17: Again as in Ex.xii.15&19, you could be put to death for eating the wrong food, this time fat or blood.
iii.16: When sacrificing animals to god, remember that all the fat is the Lord's. That's just as well after all the recent medical reports advising people of the dangers of a high fat diet.
v.2: If someone touches anything unclean (like a dead cow or a bug), including uncleanness of man whatever that is, he will be both unclean and guilty.
v.15&17: Apparently it is possible to sin without even knowing that you have done anything wrong. With that kind of thinking, it makes it more understandable that God should eternally punish humanking because it was so innocent it didn't know not to eat the forbidden fruit until it had done so.
vi.25: If anything inadvertantly touches the dead body of a burnt offering, it automatically becomes holy.
vii.18-27: If you eat a peace offering while being ritually 'unclean' you are to be executed. In addition, you are forbidden from eat fat or blood because only God is allowed to.
vii.25-27: A reminder that if you eat the wrong food you must be put to death.
vii.30-36: These verses provide the proper instructions for wave offerings and heave offerings. It is vitally important that they are read because they are to be performed perpetually by a statute for ever. Oops, it looks like we forgot.
vii.32: The offer of the right shoulder to God was the same portion of his son Pelops that Tantalus set before Demeter and for which he was forced to suffer for eternity. (Demeter would later replace this missing piece of anatomy with one made of ivory).
viii.7-8: Moses gets his brother Aaron to dress up in the curious girdle of the ephod.
viii.14-32: In these verses Moses first kills an animal before wiping the blood on Aaron's ears, thumbs and big toes. Then he sprinkles blood all over the place and waves the entrails in front of God. For an encore he barbecues it to provide a sweet savour before the Lord. Today he could have simply bought him some cologne.
ix.8-21: Some more verses to read if you're interested in animal slaughter, blood-letting, twirling around the dismembered parts and entrails and burning everything before the Lord. Just what you'd expect from a Monty Python episode.
x.1-2: Two men are killed in what appears to have been a ritual human sacrifice after they offered God unauthorised incense.
x.6: Priests have to be under heavy surveillance at all times to prevent any chance of them uncovering their heads or tearing their clothes because for such a heinous crime God will kill not only them but all the people....

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