My Dating Identity Essay

1532 words - 6 pages

When you go on a date you picture worlds colliding, fireworks, and other western depictions of romance. My date included all of these elements, but not in the clichéd way you are probably picturing. Worlds collided all right; my postmodern world collided into his modern one. The fireworks that ensued were cataclysmic. It began with dinner, and it ended with shock and awe.
He made reservations and endless compliments. It seemed that things would go well despite the decade age difference between us. I was 22, and he was 32. We pulled up at Antonio’s, my favorite Italian restaurant, and my stomach fluttered with both hunger and excitement. Dinner was lovely, and proceeded along in Disneyesque fashion.
After dinner, we went to his place to watch a movie. It wasn’t long before I geared the conversation toward religion and politics because it’s in my nature to defy norms of behavior. “You don’t understand we are there because they hate us they want to kill us.” he said. My jaw dropped; did he really just say that? “It’s their religion. All Muslims are extremists.” he said. I began to feel rage, and I started to argue. How could someone believe that you could lump a whole ethnicity, culture, or religion into one group? People are complex; people aren’t machines that can be predicted. I was not offended as much by his comment as I was offended by his lack of possibilities. His limited world view was geared by a single perspective leaving no room for fluidity. I thought he was a bigot, but now I see that we are from two different worlds. By that I mean we have two different world views; I’m postmodern and he is modern.

My identity has influences from all three genres, but the current stage of my life is predominantly influenced by postmodernism which impacts my single and dating identity. I have some lingering romanticist views that still influence my dating identity, and were carried over from childhood. I am currently educated within a modern system that has situated me within a grand narrative impacting my dating expectations. Yet, I have shifted my identity increasingly toward a postmodern perspective that cause conflict in my dating relationships because I struggle with fixed perspectives. My personal identity transition mirrors society’s transition through the three genres of self. My dating identity is pastiche pulling from all three perspectives of self, but this fluidity makes dominantly postmodern.
Like many young girls I was brought up with the pervasive message of Disney, and this has left me marked with lingering romanticist views. As a child I attributed all things to a deep inner passion. Thus is what Gergen terms the deep interior which is largely viewed as the soul or the luminous hollow in secular terms. My concept of self was that people were born a certain way with certain inner gifts. Beauty and genius were not created or observable. Some people were just born with an intrinsic way of being that could not be broken down....

Find Another Essay On My Dating Identity

Culture and Identity Essay

1144 words - 5 pages dating back to my great grandparents. My great-grandfather was born into a low class white household in Moscow, Russia. He immigrated to America with his mother and father at age eight. After very little bouncing around they ended up in Detroit where they ended up staying. My great-grandfather stayed in Detroit and started a family and a business which is still there to this day, Warholak Tire Service which is located at 9411 McGraw street in

The Story of Me Essay

628 words - 3 pages To continue our family's ethnic/cultural identity, our parents must teach us the core values of our Eastern Asian culture. The most fundamental of these values regard gender roles and dating--which lead to a gender bias. Children of both sexes are more influenced by the mothers' attitudes than fathers' because mothers play the primary socializing agents in the Eastern Asian community.I am from a fairly strict Vietnamese family. I was born in a

Invisible Man by Ralph Ellison.

1502 words - 6 pages identity, which author Ralph Ellison stressed dearly about in Invisible Man.Interacial dating and the power dynamics are especially shown in Invisible Man. At first the narrator tries to use the whole black image of black men being powerful and sexy to manipulate three white womyn that he comes into interaction with, who are very sexual. Suddenly his race makes him wanted by these white womyn. Sybil one of the womyn that he sleeps with, considers


654 words - 3 pages determine these deceptions? Motivation In order to further develop the motivation behind this fascination, I will question the reasoning behind digital identity fallacies, and what steps are/can be taken in order to prevent this misuse of online dating communities. In order to fully prepare an argument that has been structurally constructed based on previous researchers evidence, I have incorporated many sources that have addressed the topic of

Asian Men And Women

1129 words - 5 pages himself as Chinese. "His grandmother had called him in a language he forgot a year after he stared public school" (p.12). How can he possibly lecture Aurora about his race and identity when he does not even know a word in Cantonese? Also, he said that he never wanted to marry another Chinese woman ever again. Most of Asian American Men are expected and encouraged to marry same race. In my opinion, saying you are not going to marry your own

Londonstani by Gautam Malkani and Oscar in A Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao by Junot Díaz

1732 words - 7 pages Jas from the gang. Jas keep his private identity or relationship concealed from the public by dating a Muslim because his relationship will not be accepted by the community. He also does not conform to the public by dating a Sikh. Ultimately, Jas isolates himself from the group because of this forbidden relationship. The way Jas speaks—or tries to speak—around his fellow gang members shows his conformity to language

How Erikson’s Eight Stages of Life Apply to My Life

902 words - 4 pages . stagnation (or self-absorption)). I am only 22 years old; however, I have completed stage six of young adulthood (intimacy vs. isolation). According to McAdams (2009), “In intimacy versus isolation, the young adult seeks to form long-term bonds with others, epitomized in marriage or long-term romantic commitments,” (p. 382). I have seized my identity and have found intimacy. The intimacy I have found has been characterized into marriage. Since my husband

Intraracial Conflicts: Self Inflicted or Imposed?

1646 words - 7 pages intraracism among blacks in America. Smith includes the sources of the conflict and its implication on black identity, physical features, and dating. Smith lists in detail examples of how intraracism remains the point of focus in achieving disunity in the African-American community. The author lays the foundation for how blacks have tried to create their identity in American society. Smith states how power and privilege was given to those with lighter

Searching for My Education Soul Mate

701 words - 3 pages has leaked into the college application process. Students must understand that applying to college is the same thing as creating a profile on an education dating site. A student’s application, transcripts, etc. become their personalized profile, whereas the brochures, web pages, and tours, contribute to a college’s profile. I feel I have the upper hand going into my application process because I have this valuable knowledge that alters the way I

Adolescence in South Africa

1729 words - 7 pages words the individual achieves psychological maturity and social maturity (Mwale, 2010). As a consequence of South Africa’s historical background of Apartheid, adolescence in South Africa and the identity development of nationals has to be carefully analysed as a result of such incidents. In my opinion adolescence is a sensitive period and not a critical period for identity development in South Africans. Critical periods involve the notion of an

Understanding the Occurrence of Interracial Marriage in the United State

933 words - 4 pages a long way since the 1960s, in the way that it views cultural differences; the civil rights movement opened people’s minds to the idea of diversity. The United States is one of the most racially and ethnically diverse nations, so interracial dating and marriage were bound to occur. Lewis and Ford-Robertson’s findings showed that interracial marriages have increased over the past two decades, but it still only accounts for a small percentage of

Similar Essays

Internet Dating, Love, And Identity Essay

1309 words - 5 pages Internet dating is one of the most popular ways to meet a potential person that meets your needs for your ideal relationship. For a love bases, online relationships are just ridiculous. The starting idea of internet dating was to get to know someone without knowing what they look like, to create chemistry with another person without considering looks. If you scan those sites you’ll see unrealistic looking girls or even boys as their profile

Online Dating : The Pros And Cons

1029 words - 4 pages traditional dating, where what you see is what you get. The absence of physical presence in online dating makes it open to undesirable elements. Anyone can sign up for a dating website; married people, hustlers, pimps, psychos can pretend to be someone they are not. Quite handy for them to hide their real identity behind the computer screens. No one wants to be cheated especially in the matters of the heart. Romance is a very wonderful thing. Not because

The Solution To The Problem Of Teenagers Compensated Dating

1115 words - 4 pages glance, the solution can both combat erotic network and generate a deterrent effect for both adolescences and customers. But there do not have specific law to penalize compensated dating, loophole might present for escaping from law responsibility. Also, identity on network is almost anonymous. As the right of piracy, investigating directly from the internet is difficult, and there are crowds of different websites and applications. Namely, the

Need To Belong Essay

2483 words - 10 pages identity. Previous research suggests that attitudes toward interracial marriage have a strong relationship with the age of the subjects (Field, Kimuna &Straus 2013). The measure that is employed in the research in order to find out the correlation between age and attitudes towards interracial marriage is inter dating/marriage measure (IDMM). The IDMM measure conceptualized several important components of attitudes toward interracial marriage into