I was ten years of age the first time I deemed that I needed to lose weight. My family and I (Mom, Dad and younger sister) were on a ski trip with another family (mother, father and ten year old son). We were all getting fitted for skis and boots and the store associate fitted us asked what I weighed and my mom told him. I overheard the mother of the other family informed the associate what her son weighed and at the age of ten I weighed a little more than the boy at ten years of age, so the message that I chose to believe was that “I am fat, and I am inadequate”. The exploitation became a part of my personality, I was treated poorly as a result of the way some of the kids in my fifth grade, ...view middle of the document...
I prolonged on with basketball in high school. I went in and out of times with being obsessed with my body size. On the whole, I was obsessed and always had a new "diet" plan. The end of my junior year I met my first serious boyfriend and we started dating. We fell in love and dated until the middle of my freshman year in college. The obsession about my body size diminished some during this time for I felt so loved and accepted by him. I broke up with him so I could find out if we were undoubtedly meant for each other, plus I was in college and I coveted some college dating experience.
After I broke up with my boyfriend, I became terribly, dreadfully depressed. All I did was stay in my room and cry. I never went out and I not by any means gorged. My friends became worried and one night they insisted that I travel with them to a party. This was the start of my wild freshman phase. I went and became utterly ravished and spent the night with some guy that I didn't know (didn't copulate with, just spent the night). I partied every weekend after this. I was anything but careful about what I did and where I was. I was sexually assaulted a couple of times this semester and basically just went way out of control as far as partying too much.
Another important experience that happened the beginning of my freshman year was I met my best friend in college, Michelle. Michelle and I had a great time together. We were both fairly immature and YES, we both had body image issues. We started exercising every night in our dorm rooms (usually together). We never missed a night. We tried new diets but never lost weight. My freshman year ended.
Michelle and I decided to room together in an apartment for sophomore year.
Sophomore year started. Michelle and I had a somewhat a sterling year. We slowed down some on the partying and honestly had a positive year except for the whole eating episode. We tried every diet in the book. Nothing worked.
By the end of the year we were restricting all day long and then binging at nights. One night Michelle bought some Correctol (laxatives) and took some and told me to try some. She did and I did. I was gut-wrenching sick and thought I would never take those capsules again, BUT BEHOLD, I changed my mind when I looked at the scale unquestionably the next morning and my weight had gone down!!!! I didn't even think about the fact that my body had just been depleted of all water and minerals, I just KNEW that I was thinner since that is what the scale (my God at the time) read. Michelle and I both went home for the summer (each to separate places) and continued. When I arrived home from school in May I was quite depressed seeing instead of losing weight I had gained weight (about 5-7 pounds). I was horrified that Michelle's scale was wrong and I was even fatter than I imagined!! My mom and sister and dad noticed that I had put on a few pounds and there are arguments that still replay in my mind, even though it has been in...