Imagine waking up to what should be a normal day in my life only to find out a loved one was gone. About three years ago, I thought that a day in my life would just be a normal day and fun night, but never did I expect to lose a very important person in my life. That day I was supposed to be at home taking care of my grandma; however, I chose to go out with my friends. We were partying, drinking, and having fun. Unfortunately, I ignored my dad’s caring words, “Son please stay home and take care of your grandma for she is ill.” My parents trusted to do a simple task, but I breached the trust. Since the day she was gone, I couldn’t forgive myself for not attending to her when I had a chance to. I felt overwhelmed with guilt because of the decision I made and promised myself that I would never allow this to happen again to anyone else in my life. Though she is no longer physically with me, and I know her spirit would live on forever, and the images of her love would never disappear from my memory.
That day when I was out with my friends, I didn’t see the importance of how much my grandma meant to me until she passed away in the hospital. My friends and my grandma were important to me, but I chose to be with my friends that night. However, I wasn’t able to be at the hospital to share the last moment with her when she slipped away from this world. Sometimes I wish I could whisper in her ears and let her know what a loving, caring, and supportive grandma she was. And other time, I wish I could kiss her on the cheek and look her in the eye telling her “I love you.”
With the death of my grandma, I was filled with grief and pain like someone had taken out my hearth and stabbed me in the back with a pit folk. I didn’t know what to do until my friend Tri visited me and gave his condolences. He confided to me with a story that was dramatic that had happened to his family. He explained how his family was in the hospital praying, expressing their love, and giving respect to his aunt before she passed away. Tri’s uncle Thanh wasn’t able to make it in time because his flight got delayed, and Tri’s family knew that his aunt would understand and forgive him. My friend wanted me to understand that the decision I made was not the best decision at the time, but my grandma would understand and forgive me for not being with her on that day.
When I received the phone call from my father later that night and heard about the news. I immediately rushed to the hospital, and I told myself that I would make it in time to see her. As I made my way to the hospital, the immense shame rushed through my body, when I found out that she had already passed away. I knew that I had missed my last chance of being able to hold her body in my arms, and I would never forgive myself. As I waited anxiously outside of the emergency room, I saw my uncle Luck walking out shaking his head as tears were...