My Personal Beast Essay

1602 words - 6 pages


I was 13. It was spring, the barren time in March when you cannot be sure if it is really warmer, but you are so desperate for change that you tell yourself the mud at the edge of the sidewalk is different than winter mud and you are sure that the smell of wet soil has suddenly a bit of the scent of summer rains, of grass and drowned earthworms. And it has, because it is spring and inside the ground something is stirring. I was wearing a yellow linen dress which my mother had picked out and which I therefore disliked although I knew it flattered me. My shoes were white and I was concentrating on keeping them out of the mud. My father and I were going to mass--my mother did not go; she was Protestant. My father put his hand on top of my hair, his palm on my head, and I could feel the bone of my skull and my skin and his hot palm, so dry and strong. When I was a little girl, he did that often, and called me 'Muscles.' He had not called me Muscles or put his hand on my head for a long time. I could not help arching my back a little, I wanted to push against his hand like a cat but the instinct that comes with being 13, the half-understood caution that makes a girl timid, or wild, the shyness told me to just walk. I wanted to feel the rough edge of the pocket of his coat against my cheek, but I was too tall. I wanted to be seven again, and safe. But I still wanted to push against his hand and put my hand in his pocket and steal the leather palmed glove, that secret animal.

 

Instead I went into the church, took a Bulletin, dipped my finger in Holy Water and genuflected. The inside of the church smelled like damp wood and furniture polish, not alive at all. My father took off his coat and draped it over the edge of the pew and when I came back from communion I stole his glove. The paper taste of the wafer was still in my mouth and I took a deep breath of the leather. It smelled like March.

 

We walked back through the school because it was drizzling, my father tall in his navy suit and my shoes going click on the linoleum. There were two classes of each grade, starting at the sixth and going down to the first. The hall ended in a 'T' and we went left through the gym, walked underneath the bleachers and stood next to the side door, waiting for the rain to stop.

 

It was dark under the bleachers. My father was a young man, 35, younger because he liked to be outside, to play softball on Saturday and to take my mother and me camping on vacation. He stood rocked back on his heels with his coat thrown over his shoulders and his hands in his pockets. I thought of bacon and eggs, toast with peach jam out of the jar. I was so hungry.

 

The space under the bleachers was secret and dark. There were things in the shadows; a metal pail, a mop, rags. Next to the door was a tall wrought-iron candle holder--the kind that stood at either end of the alter. There was no holder and the end was jagged. On the...

Find Another Essay On My Personal Beast

A Comparison of The Destructors and Lord of the Flies

2384 words - 10 pages , and a mystified enemy. There are even parallel characters. For example, Blackie in "The Destructors" resembles Ralph in Lord of the Flies. In Graham Greene's "The Destructors," the boys' behaviour, thoughts, and social-development patterns parallel those of the boys in William Golding's Lord of the Flies.   One of the main characters in Lord of the Flies is the "beast." This mythical creation is a product of the boys

Beauty and the Beast vs.The Summer and Winter Garden

1837 words - 7 pages beauty hostage, he is gentleman enough to give her, her own space if she does not want anything to do with him: “you alone are mistress here; you need only bid me gone, if my presence is troublesome, and I will immediately withdraw” (LePrince de Beaumont 6). Beast being kind to Beauty is important since the goal is for her to want to stay with him forever. Since he shows compassion and affection, her feelings towards him slowly conform. It is

The Hidden Meaning of The Nun's Priest's Tale

3870 words - 15 pages The Hidden Meaning of The Nun's Priest's Tale      It has been suggested that a "Chaucer tale exploits the nature of its genre but also draws attention to the ideological biases and exclusions inherent in the genre"2. In my opinion The Nun's Priest's Tale is a wonderful example of Chaucer testing the bounds of his chosen genre - in this case the beast fable. What is a beast fable? Obviously a tale about animals, but one where

The Core Allegiance of our Being: Are we Essentially Good or Evil? Examples in Modern Culture

1746 words - 7 pages people survived by running into the jungle (Inside the Jonestown Massacre). Jim Jones was a power hungry control freak, who led a church with group intent for good and his own personal intent to feed the monster that was his inner evil. His original purpose was not evil but what his purpose manifested into, which was because of his powerful, dictator-like position and his communist situation. The Beast was only a figment of the boy’s imaginations, a

Various Essays On Goldings "Lord Of The Flies"

2409 words - 10 pages , however. Eventually, Jack and some of the other boys split apart from Ralph and his “group.” Jack and his hunting band kill another pig savagely, reveling in its agony. The “peak of their decline” was when they killed Simon, calling him a beast, during the storm. Then Piggy is killed, and the conch is shattered, and that is when I consider them to be at the absolute lowest in society: nothing more than savages.      2. In

Take a passage from Moby Dick and explain the symbols of the book within the passage.

1262 words - 5 pages Ahab's insane journey to destroy evil (Moby Dick).Ahab puts his crew at risk by trying to gain his own personal vengeance on Moby Dick. His ignorance and selfishness cause his crew to sink down to the bottom of the ocean along with the Pequod. Moby Dick is portrayed as more than just a savage beast, but as the mask behind God. This white whale not only kills Ahab's crew, but also seals Ahab's fate by killing Ahab before Ahab kills him. Ahab costs his fellow sailors their lives and never does gain vengeance on the beast that has tortured him his whole life.

Private Passions and Moral Responsibilities: Hamlet

638 words - 3 pages deceased King Hamlet is seen walking the halls in battle gear. Later it is learned that his brother, Claudius, has taken to the throne with King Hamlet's ex-wife, Gertrude, after only two months since the King's passing. The son of the deceased King, Hamlet, sees the marriage as a travesty stating, "(Oh God! A beast that wants discourse of reason would have mourned longer) married with my uncle; My father's brother, but no more like my father than I to

A review of "Lord of the Flies"

551 words - 2 pages the island and has become tangled on some rocks on the mountain. A rumor of a Abeast@ on their island discovers that the beast the parachutist but unfortunately never has the opportunity to tell the others. He is mistaken for the beast and is accidentally killed during a wild celebration feast that takes place after a successful hunt by Jack and his followers. Later on, Ralph=s last follower is also killed but not by accident.Ralph has lost all

Shooting An Elephant

841 words - 3 pages my hatred of the empire I served and my rage against the evil-spirited little beast who tried to make my job impossible." In this line Orwell is not only describing his feelings but he gives detail on the type of person that he is--weak and isolated as the "little beast" make his job impossible. Although he is a person of authority, it seems that these "little beast" are actually controlling his authority as a police officer.On the subject of

Self-Validation and Social Acceptance

1613 words - 6 pages work of fiction by Jane S. Fancher called "Moonlover and the Fountain of Blood," the lecture given by Carolyn Dinshaw on the twenty-third of September, and Cherrie Moraga's "The Breakdown of the Bicultural Mind" to support my thesis. Originally, I started thinking about this paper in a manner quite different from that which will be shown here. I thought I knew everything I had learned and that I could take a single idea and 'run with it,' as

AMERICAN GOVERNMENT A

734 words - 3 pages Corkscrew I have never really liked roller coasters. Unfortunately, I have come to the conclusion that life is very much like one. The first and only time I ride a roller coaster, I am thirteen and naively excited. I lack the foresight to remove my glasses before boarding - a silly mistake, especially considering th e beast in question is called "T he Corkscrew," a monstrous structure that, as the name implies, loops up, down and upside-down in

Similar Essays

'the Beast In The Jungle' By Henry James

2421 words - 10 pages James was personally and privately acquainted. There is also the belief that everything an author produces is autobiographical to a certain extent. And supposing 'The Beast in the Jungle' is largely autobiographical, once again I ask what was James' intention? Is the story so autobiographical that James felt it necessary to create an elaborate smoke-screen to elude the critics of its true meaning in view of his personal life? Was the aesthetic

The Consequence Of Anticipation Henry James' "The Beast In The Jungle" A Literary Analysis Of A Classic Short Story

898 words - 4 pages virgin), wrote "The Beast in the Jungle" about himself. "Literally interpreting James's story we can, if we wish, see Marcher as a man who fears the most intimate human communion and commitment, the sexual bond" (Bell 40). In essence, James wasted his life just like John Marcher. His intentions are unknown but it is safe to say that his personal loneliness must have somewhat contributed to the writing of his sad short story.By keeping events veiled

In The Lord Of The Flies, Golding Wanted To Show His Readers That There Is No Such Thing As Innocence, Even In The Young

637 words - 3 pages them wouldhave sacrificed his personal emotional desires for the other, but because instincts supersede innocence,innocence disappears.Simon represented the subconscious truth that lied hidden disguised in the depth of every humanemotion. The theme conveys that an evil essence lurks in every man that can be brought out givencertain circumstances. Simon, whose character was depicted as being different from the other boys,was able to recognise

This Is A Re Written Story Of Beowulf From Wiglaf's Point Of View.

964 words - 4 pages the kingdom for the last half century. So it seems that Beowulf decided to attempt to slay the dragon. I was appalled at this decision, considering his age. Beowulf stated "I am old, now, but I will fight again, seek fame still. If the dragon hiding in his tower dares to face me. I'd use no sword, no weapon, if this beast could be killed without it, crushed to death like Grendel, gripped in my hands and torn limb from limb. But this breath will