Over the past 2 years I have learned quiet a lot about domestic violence. My daughter was a victim of domestic violence. This has come to be a very sore subject for me and my family. But it is also something that I am very passionate about and I want to learn more about how the system works. There are some things that I agree with and some things that I disagree with.
My daughter returned to her abusive partner multiple times, even after he was very controlling and manipulative. Statistics say that the victim will return back to their abusive partner multiple times, this journal “Taking the next step in the legal response to domestic violence” states,
Victims of domestic violence often fail to follow through with their initial willingness to cooperate with the People's prosecution. Many victims return to their abusive partners due to financial concerns ... [or] due to fear for their safety or that of their family and children. And for some women, having become so entrenched in a cycle of abuse and violence, they return out of habit. By inducing, or by merely permitting a victim to enter into an attorney-client relationship with them, it is conceivable that the attorney participates knowingly or otherwise in the defendant's "strategy of coercive control." (Wellman)
My daughter had very low self-esteem, and still to this day it seems as if she cannot break away. She often believed that it was her fault and no one but him could ever love her, he would say she is not worthy of love. He has some hold on her and she always went back to her abusive partner. She went through severe physical violence, where if she had not gotten away her abuser would have killed her. There are four different types of behaviors that go along with domestic violence and my daughter went through every one of them. He would physically abuse her in the form of punching, kicking pulling her hair, dragging her around and even choking her. He sexually abused her by forcing her to have sex with him when she didn’t want to and to perform sexual acts that she did not like. He mentally abused her by making constant threats to her and telling her he would hurt her or her family if she left him. Last but not least he also abused her emotionally by not allowing her to see, speak or spend time with any of her friends and family. Even though he is now in jail he still has people following and watching her.
One thing I do not agree with when it comes to getting the law involved is that they will not do anything unless she makes the complaint because she is over 18. They know that victims like her usually do not say anything because of fear so why want they investigate and do something when a concerned parent or friend calls and reports a problem. Intimate partner violence resulted in 2,340 deaths in 2007 and of these deaths 70% were females and 30% were males (CDC). I feel that the laws need to be changed to protect the victim more.
I have always been real close to my kids; I never...