In the book, Outgrowing the Pain: A Book For and About Adults Abused as Children, Dr. Eliana Gil discusses the causes and effects of traumatic experiences adults abused as children have undergone during their childhood. Throughout the book, Dr. Gil introduces various types of abuse within the family such as emotional, physical, and sexual abuse. Furthermore, Dr. Gil explains how to guide these once mistreated adults to understand and cope with each situation.
Currently, there are many children whom suffer from emotional, physical, and sexual abuse in their family. Emotional abuse is the lack of interest or affection parents have towards their children. As a result of emotional abuse, children are left feeling worthless and unloved. Physical abuse refers to attacking children resulting visible bodily injuries from either being burned, pushed, punched, slapped, or whipped. Sometimes physical abuse can be extremely severe that children have broken bones, fractures, or hemorrhaging. Sexual abuse occurs when a person forces, tricks, or threatens children to have sexual contact. These acts of child abuse could prevent children from living a normal adulthood. In order to deal with such a traumatic childhood, adults abused as children should rid themselves of such burdensome, painful memories.
Adults abused as children need to confront the abuse they have experienced. To face and admit that they have been abused, adults should no longer live in denial. As children, they were constantly in denial because they did not realize they were being abused by the people they loved and trusted. Denial, a defense tactic, helps children feel safe away from painful, unpleasant memories. Growing up in denial will result adults abused as children avoiding any human interaction with others since they feel insecure. As soon as they surpass the denial stage, these adults may have a difficult time recollecting the reactions or emotions they had as a child. As children, they tend to minimize what truly happened. At an adult age, one comes into terms with the abuse, but as a child, one felt detriment and insecure in their own home. This is due to the endless sufferings of fear and pain, and the feeling that they are incapable of the desire to please and the feeling of being despised by the people they loved.
Retaining the past with an adult perspective, these once mistreated adults begin to rationalize the reasons behind their abuse. Excuses are made to protect your parents such as that they may have been under so much pressure, not receiving enough help, or that they were only abusive when they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Parents may also be abusive because they may have been repeating what they learned as children. Even though some of these reasons are valid, a person cannot allow such reasons to interfere in the process of accepting the abuse occurred and that greatly impacted their life negatively. In reality, such excuses are irrelevant because...