Overcoming Identity Confusion In Adulthood Essay

2146 words - 9 pages

Because of many conflicting ideas I experienced between ages 12-18, which is the time frame for the identity versus role confusion stage of Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory of development which is describe in our textbook (Boyd & Bee, 2006), I have experienced delays in life planning. Throughout my adolescence I was often in a non supportive environment with many people dictating my actions, but no role model to look up to. This left me confused and caused me to have many different jobs that I did for money, not for career experience My future goals have stemmed from becoming recently self employed, and realizing my love for accounting, and having time to make my own decisions and realizing my true interests and talents.
Ever since I was a little kid of about 6 years old, I was left to myself. My parents worked very hard during the week and partied and often went to bars every night and weekend. They spent a lot of time with friends. I found it hard to trust others due to my parents not being supportive of me so young. I really had no primary person to rely on. According to the trust versus mistrust stage of Erikson’s Psychosocial Theory of development in our textbook, a caregiver must be consistently loving and must respond to the child predictably and loving, otherwise the child may develop mistrust (Boyd & Bee, 2006). This has been my experience in my life. I had very few friends in elementary, which I learned was a time to make lifelong friends. The only social life I had was at the Possum Road Church of God, which I went to from 9 to 18 years old. However, because of the mistrust in elementary school the only friends or support system I had was in church. This caused a lack of a social life all the way up through high school.
When I was about 11-12 years old, the unsupportive environment worsened, due to my parents getting a divorce. My dad wanted a mother for us, and someone to love as well, so he remarried his high school sweetheart. This was great for him, but horrible for me. At first I was excited, because in addition to having my dad and a younger brother, I gained a step-mother, brother and sister. I thought finally a sister. Things did not go the way I had hoped. My step-mother is one of those people that have to control things, and was very manipulative. I had hoped that she would step up and help my dad to see that I needed a role model. She not only did not do that, but made my life worse. My stepsiblings also made fun of me because they did not understand me. My stepsister went to the same high school I did, and passed on the ugly names she called me to her friends. I had a hard time making friends, and she made it that much worse.
The first thing that she did to make things worse, was to take away my church support system. I had been going to Possum Road for a while, and felt that I had a family there that I didn’t have at home. My step-mother grew jealous that I relied on my fellow church members rather than my family....

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