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Papaer Essay

1497 words - 6 pages

No one would ever imagine that a doorbell ringing would be the worst thing to hear. In my family, a doorbell rang that would change the course of my life forever. My family has never been one of stability. One might say I came from a ‘broken’ family. My parents tried to combine two families into one, but unfortunately things did not work out. My mothers’ first children would not accept my father, for he brought a lot of negativity. My mother was not perfect either; her previous marriage fell apart and she was clinically depressed. Just in this small description of my family, I would have to say we are very low on the strong scale, putting us at crisis prone equaling a one. With this in mind, one could see adding a crisis into this mess would just weaken us even more, for we would not know how to cope with it.

Unfortunately, a crisis did in fact enter my family when I was young, which altered my childhood. Without going into much detail on the subject, my sister Jo’Anna was murdered. This sister was my mother’s first child. After this crisis, my mother shut down. After the funeral took place, she still had eight other kids on her plate. My mother went into a shock and did not come out of it for years. In this result, two of my siblings went to live with their father across the country, two others moved on to college life, and the other two moved out fending for themselves. The only children left at home were the ones that could not leave, my sister and me. As the years went by, my mother still mourned over the death of Jo’Anna and never let her go. Her anger at the situation fell upon us. My dad was constantly working. So that left me and my sister in the house with a mother that is unable to cope with the loss, and has developed bipolar disorder and major depression. The cause of my sister’s passing ‘drove’ my mom (as she would say) to make several suicide attempts. Looking at this situation and the crisis, we can conclude that this crisis was not handled appropriately and could have been controlled better if our family would have been stronger.

As the result of the crisis and my families dealing with things, it left me at the short end of the stick, leaving me with issues that would take time to fix. Through the stress of this loss, I experienced physical signs of stomach problems, migraine/ headaches, and dizziness. Growing up, because of the loss of my sister, my mother never wanted to hear us complain if we did not feel well or honestly hear our opinions on much of anything. So because of this, stomach problems occurred from building up everything inside. At the time, I knew that some of these physical pains were caused by stress of the loss, but I did not realize that it contributed to this single event. The lack of awareness caused me to not be able to cope with Jo’Anna because I was always looking for the cure to save me, something that would stop the pain. But only until I realized that my problems were caused from holding it all...

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