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Parental Directed Marriage Essay

1213 words - 5 pages

Parental Directed MarriageMost Americans know something of loving someone no matter what anyone else seems to think. Some even marry, which in turn can alienate them from their families because they chose a partner who is not seen as good enough. But how many people have heard of arranged marriages or where the parent's view of the marriage is the final word? Most Americans have never had this enforced upon them but for the Yoruba and some people in Japanese society, this is how marriage is done. A growing body of research has pointed out that maybe these types of marriage are detrimental to the persons involved.For the Yoruba, parents are deeply involved in a mans first marriage. Parental ...view middle of the document...

But what do you do if your arranged marriage partner happens to fall far below your standards? Maybe, just maybe your parents do a splendid job and you are very happy with your arranged marriage. If so, then I congratulate you for having such wonderful parents to find someone who suits you. But for those of us who fall far below the spectrum of happiness, what are we to do? Is divorce a possibility within Yoruba society?Today, divorce is frequent, though the Yoruba say it was rare in the past, perhaps because it was easier then than now for a powerful and wealthy polygynist to victimize the seducer of one of his wives.3 Survey shows that in Ekiti, 3.5 percent of extant marriages seem to be broken in any one year; but many divorces seem to involve young, childless women, a corollary perhaps of extreme stigma to attaching to barrenness.4 So now that we know divorce is allowed within Yoruba society, do you want to one? I feel that if you were to take the divorce, you may alienate yourself from your parents because they may feel disrespected or that you do not trust in their decisions. Another reason I feel for not accepting a divorce is that you may bring ungrateful opinion upon yourself for assenting to something that I feel is not looked too highly upon in Yoruba society.Unlike Yoruba society, in Japan there are two types of marriage. The so-called love marriage and the arranged marriage. The love marriage is the type we are familiar with here in America where couples meet independently of a go between. Although the arranged marriage was predominant in the past, most marriages in Japanese society are now the love marriage type.5 Estimates vary, placing the proportion of arranged marriages at anywhere from twenty five to fifty percent.6The modern system of arranged marriage in Japan is similar to the concept of blind dating here in the United States. When a young woman reaches marriageable age, she and her parents compile a packet of information about her, including a photograph of her in kimono and descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments, and interests. This reminds me of...

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