Parenting: What Is The Best Formula?

776 words - 4 pages

Parenting has always been an age-old topic of discussion. How come my friend’s parents are cool and mine’s not? Or my parents are so lax that I wished they’d put a rein on my behaviors sometime. Whether or not we think that our parents are doing a great job raising us, it is doubly difficult for them to come up with the perfect balance to make sure we see the value of their parenting and maybe even emulate them when we start our own families.
The “grass is always greener” statement is the first that comes to mind in parenting. As parents my wife and I often second-guess ourselves, are we doing enough to teach our children values and discipline without crossing the line of being an authoritarian. Does being punitive automatically label us as authoritarian? How do you balance the rules of the house amongst our children? In our case it is doubly difficult having a child with Autism and another typically developing child to impose the same rules. We need to always be astute and assess every single situation for each of our sons if an action warrants disciplinary action or are they just typical developmental milestones. For example, there will be times that our son, Nicholas, who has Autism, would intentionally spill water on the floor. What antecedents contributed to the behavior? Is he being mischievous or did a scene from a movie he was watching an hour before trigger it? Sometimes it is difficult to assess a situation quickly enough to respond. The most difficult decision would be, what would our response be? If we let it go and it was an unwarranted behavior, we risk giving a positive reinforcement to the behavior. On the other hand, if it was as innocent as a form of echolalia, it will be most definitely wrong to reprimand the behavior. The other side of this scenario is, if our younger son, Benjamin, three years old and a typical child, sees that the spilling of water by his older brother may seem to be acceptable because of his echolalia, he may construed it as a normal behavior. The challenge then would be, how to explain to a toddler his autistic brothers behavior may sometime be unusual and should not be emulated.
Permissive, it may promote some sense of independence to some children, but excessive permissiveness...

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