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Philosophy Essay

2444 words - 10 pages

Self-confidence, by definition, is “the realistic confidence in one’s own judgment, ability, power, etc” (Dictionary.com). The online database does provide the meaning of the term, however, it does not grant its users with a guide on how to acquire it. Life is similar to an obstacle course with several hurdles along the way, such as negative influences like bullies and critics. As a result of such negativity, ones self-esteem could suffer. Despite the pessimistic attitudes that surround us, we must not let them affect us personally. As a society we need to realize that our self-worth is determined by ourselves and we do not need to depend on someone else telling us who we are.
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It was difficult to control them as they could happen anywhere, anytime, after various triggers. Ironically, I actually began to have panic attacks for the fear of having panic attacks. I often avoided certain environments and people altogether in hopes of preventing them. I started off my sophomore year weighing close to 130 pounds and within a few short months I was down to 108 pounds. It was not rare for me to skimp on meals, or skip eating altogether and throw away plates of food to make it seem as though I had eaten. There were days where I would literally lie in bed for a ridiculous amount of time because I was so miserable. The situation got even more serious when I would get frustrated and harm myself and found myself hiding and lying about the issue from my friends and family. I’m certainly not proud of my choices during this time.The coping mechanisms that I turned to were ineffective and only made the situation worse. After finally listening to the concerns of those around me, I subconsciously made the decision to let go and better myself without depending on anybody else. I worked hard to change my habits and controlled my panic attacks by using methods I learned after seeing a counselor. Truthfully, I still suffer from panic attacks, but now they are few and far between and less severe. As I’m trying to refrain from sounding too cliche, I have to admit that when I stopped being so reliant on others to determine my self-worth, I was able to find out what being me really meant. Currently, in my junior year, I’m in a much better place than I was last year. I am a lot happier as I have focused on activities that I truly enjoy such as organizing events as a Class Officer and a member of Student Council. I also escape by using a better emotional outlet by working as a Graphic Designer at Riverzedge. People often tell me their concerns of me being over involved, however, I consider it a good thing because I am being both positive and productive. The sense of responsibility has improved my self-confidence extremely. Not only do I see the difference in myself, but my family and close circle of friends have as well. Another little tidbit that confirms this, is my visit to a psychic who basically told me that in my past I was in a dark place, but she can sense that my spiritual presence or aura was much brighter. I’m happy that those closest to me, gifted strangers, and myself can see that I have accomplished so much personally within only a year. Taking this experience into account, we as a society can easily see that although it may not initially seem like it, getting rid of certain people is beneficial. The loss of two significant friendships were indeed devastating to me, however, in hindsight, the lack of negativity and dependency have bettered me as a person and taught me a valuable life lesson.
In Lorraine Hansberry’s play, A Raisin in the Sun, one of the main characters, Beneatha Younger, is self-assured of herself and her aspirations...

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