"Marriage is quite likely the one most damaging force our species have ever invented, up to and including war." Harold Christensen, author of Marriage Analysis, is not the only person who believes marriage is in many ways "hogwash."
To borrow a phrase from the 1980's, young women simply have to "say no to marriage." Not only is it unnecessary, but a bad habit as well.
We young women who are now at the age for which marriage becomes a regular topic of conversation need to stick together Single woman must learn the satisfaction, the fulfillment that awaits them by refusing to be taken in by those who insist that to be feminine, normal, happy, and fulfilled, they must marry.
Let's take the premise first: that in order to be feminine we must be wives. "Femininity," as we have been taught to view it, is a fabrication of the male ego, with no real substance in fact. Men have tried to make us believe that helplessness partly defines femininity, and a lot of us have swallowed that biggest of all lies.
The basic problem can be seen in more detail in the definition of the word "feminine". According to the Webster's College Dictionary, "Feminine" is defined as: 1. pertaining to or characteristic of women and girls: feminine attire. 2. having qualities characteristics traditionally ascribed to women, as sensitivity, delicacy, or prettiness. 3. effeminate; womanish.
This word itself has no place in today's vocabulary, as long as it denotes these traits. So-called "femininity" is at best an ideal, not a reality. For generations women have been forced to absorb such definitions and work to make them reality. Today such ideas are no more true than the idea that humans can fly.
"Femininity," is not a true, natural phenomenon. We are only human beings of the female sex, and anything beyond that is an invention of man's mind, and has nothing to do with what we really are. Getting married can not transform us from female human beings into "feminine" creatures, anymore than it can change husbands into "masculine" men. We are what we are, and changing our legal status fails to make any difference. We would be every bit as "feminine," meaning female, if we stayed single. In addition, we would be a lot more human this way. And by "human" I mean, complete and fulfilled persons.
According to Ruth Dickson of Marriage the Option, "The strongest man in the world is he who stands alone, and that goes double for women". When a woman is single, occupied with a job, has her own place to live, her own charge accounts, and her own life to lead, she is constantly being told she is not happy. Why is this? Why do people constantly believe that to be happy, a woman must get married? We can live alone, have a multiplicity of friends of both sexes, be successful in a career, and have time to ourselves in stimulating activity.
In many ways, the single life is vastly superior to being married to the same ...