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Religious Parody Radio Script Called 'heavens Above'. A Comedy That Raises Issues About Religions Impact On Mankind And Mankind In General. Formatted Version.

1645 words - 7 pages

CastGodMichaelJoanneJesusComputerHell-boundLil' JohnnyScene 1:[SFX: ELEVATOR OPENING]Computer:Good morning, - Visitor, and welcome to the Global Organised Dogma Corporation. Established since the dawn of time, the G.O.D. Corporation has remained committed towards manipulating the destiny of Mankind through the use of sermons, miracles and guilt.Computer:Our CEO and author of two bestsellers...Michael:[OVER COMPUTER] oh shut-up, shut-up[SFX: CLICKING NOISE]Computer:Windows Eternity, helping you mange your universe. GoodbyeJoanne:What's happening?Michael:Sorry that darn computer always seems to go off spouting jargon.Joanne:No, no. This is all wrong. I was just on my way home. Why am I here?Michael:Well- did you see that bus?Joanne:No. What bus?Michael:Well that's why you're here!Joanne:[SADLY] So, I'm dead.Michael:Yes isn't it wonderful no more aging, no more sickness and no more telemarketers.Joanne:Then I made it to HeavenMichael:Almost. - You work as my secretary and then in a century or so you can receive eternal bliss. It's part of our new Work for the Soul Scheme.Joanne:Apart from work, what else is there to do?Michael:Gaze down from the Heavens! The fools, they think they invented reality TV. We've been watching their stupid shit for years!Joanne:And who are you?Michael:Michael... The right-hand man of God.Joanne:An angel?Michael:Well these aren't chicken wings here, lady.Joanne:I don't understand, I thought Gabriel was the highest of the angels.Michael:It's just typical, Gabriel does one gig and he gets the notoriety. Remember I fought the war against Lucifer.God:[SFX: ELEVATOR DOOR OPENING]Are you still going on about that?Don't worry about him Joanne. Are there any questions you'd like to ask?Joanne:Well, what should I call you?God:You may call me The Almighty Creator, The Father of the Heavens, Alpha and Omega or- just- GodJoanne:Well God, it's a pleasure to meet you. Thanks for...well...everything.God:Right- Now lets get to it Michael into the office[SFX: WALKING, SHUT DOOR, SIT DOWN]Scene 2:[SFX: TICKING OF CLOCK, FADE INTO SCENE]Michael:This week a further 2 million people died of starvation, whilst IBM announced profits of $80 billion, 4 species were made extinct and Winne-the-Pooh got a tummy tuck for his upcoming movie.Oh and Rick resigned this morning.God:Oh no! Well find a replacement. We can't have an apocalypse with only 3 horsemen!Michael:[ASSERTIVELY] Having the horsemen on standby. You don't want to be too hasty God, you'll regret it if you wipe them out. It'll be like the whole dinosaurs and comet incident all over again!God:Well I am rather fond of those little monkeys, but it's all going down hill.Michael:People just can't relate to you anymore God, - our strategies must change.God:[SMUG] Hey, I'm as popular as I've ever been.Michael:Well actually, children recognise Ronald McDonald more than you. -God:[EMOTIONALLY] That's terrible[PAUSE]I guess a little fine-tuning is in order, but I'm not wearing those big floppy...

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