Religious Traits Essay

1555 words - 6 pages

The most characteristically obvious groups in Louisa are religious. The gung-ho Baptists run rampant, the emotionally wretched Wiccans and lack-luster Catholics have to share the county with the apathetic Agnostics. If a person paid attention to a Louisian's politics that person could guess a Louisian's religion is at least half of the time. If a person were to observe a Louisain's appearance and politics, three out of four times the Lousian's religion could be correctly guessed. The most visually obvious group is the Wiccans.Wiccans wear Renaissance and Goth clothes, especially velvet, and often have black hair and dark heavy make-up on both males and females. They have professed their bisexuality since the seventh grade, yet have never kissed a person of the same gender. At least a third of Wiccans are overweight girls with self-esteem issues. They are members of or -hang out with members of -Renaissance club, GLAAD, and the school band. They often love live action role playing games because their pretend magic can efftect other characters in the game. Most are "tree-huggers" and claim "mother earth talks" to them and "the trees scream in pain". When Marylyn or Ashley Wiccan are depressed they cut themselves in order to relieve their emotional pain. Wiccans despise President Bush and right-wing conservatives but don't go into detail as to why. One of Marylyn Wiccan's favorite jokes are "You know your going to get screwed with Dick and Bush in the White House." She is the fake Wiccan; the girl who claims to be a witch because it is cool but is too lazy to even perform a spell with no ingredients. Alexis Wiccan looks perfectly normal and is perfectly fine socially but her big sister told her that she came from a long line of witches when Alexis's parents got divorced. Alexis performs spells to make her stop thinking about how her dad used to beat her and her mom. She sleeps around because she seeks the emotional comfort she never got from her father. If Ashley Wiccan is present when a Baptist starts to tell others how Christianity is the only way to avoid Hell you will see them grind her teeth to avoid yelling. After escaping the company if the Baptist Ashley goes out to the woods to meditate and worship nature. Baptists and Wiccans are in constant opposition.Baptists are usually dressed in Wal-Mart attire or Aéropostale depending on how much money they have. Women seem to have to choose between looking like Mimi from the Drew Carrey Show and wearing no make-up at all. Anyone over thirty five has the "red neck," especially the men in summer. Men usually have cru-cuts and the most common women's hairstyle is the "dyke" for women over thirty and shoulder-length or longer for young women. If a person were to encounter a Baptist they should be wary to bad-mouth President Bush or speak as an atheist because the Baptist, depending on how gung-ho they are, may verbally or physically lay a "smack-down" on the naysayer. The Baptists, like most...

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