“I don’t love you anymore, and I’m not sure if I ever did.” (Munson, 2009) What would your reaction be if your husband or significant other said this to you? How would those words make you feel? Would you be able to set aside your own feelings to see the bigger issue? Could you understand, be secure in yourself, and in the relationship you have had? It would take an extremely strong person to be able to set aside their feelings of anger and hurt, in order to see that there was a struggle deeper, than he was displaying. Most people would go in to fight or flight mode, but instead, this wife chose to take in his words that came flying at her like a kick in the stomach. She listened, came to a calm, rational decision, which she felt was best for her family.
In this inspiring story, Laura saves her family from her husband’s destruction and midlife crisis by ignoring her own feelings of anger, hurt and confusion. One day after twenty years of marriage, her husband came to her and said, “I don’t love you anymore and I’m not sure I ever did. I’m moving out. The kids will understand. They’ll want me to be happy.” (Munson, 2009) Laura chose not to internalize his choice, and not to make it about her. She let her husband have his “tantrum” by letting go of his responsibilities as a husband and father.
He did not move out as he said he wanted, but he was not involved either. He came and went as he pleased. He celebrated a holiday with his friends rather than his family. Laura’s birthday came and he could not even muster up enough love or respect to tell her “Happy Birthday!” She invited him to partake in the family fun; he didn’t even try to act interested. One day he started fixing things that were in need of fixing, doing yard work, and referring to things as “ours.” Laura realized what the midlife crisis was about, pride.
I have to commend Laura for her efforts in being able to dismiss his crushing, jaw dropping claims. I cannot say that I agree with her choices, but I do admire her tenacity. I know that in order to be forgiven we must forgive. In this story, Laura’s husband never...