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Ridley P. Poe Essay

2743 words - 11 pages

"Well, we got a call from a frightened Ms. Leimbach who lived on the forth floorof the Pleasant Valley Apartment building," Lieutenant Henderson said."So......? What'd she say?" I asked."She said there was a body lying in a safety net that some construction crew hadleft outside her back window," Lieutenant Henderson said."So what'd you do then, LT?" I asked."Hey Miller why don't you stuff a doughnut in this kid's mouth so I can tell mytale." and turning to me, he added "Patience young man, patience."Flicking an ash from the end of his Dunhill toward the aluminum foil ashtray infront of him and missing, he continued, "Anyway, Sergeant Richards took the call, and theinfo that he got outta Ms. Leimbach was sorta vague. She said that she couldn't tell who itwas because the face was covered in blood, but she estimated that it had happened withinfifteen minutes before calling us. She said that she had finished the dishes at her sink infront of that window just before The Tonight Show started at 11:00, and the body wasn'tthere then. When she called us at 11:15, she said she had just gotten up to make herself acup of tea when she noticed the body."At first, me and Richards wondered if that old coot hadn't been seeing thingsagain. After all, this was the same Ms. Leimbach who had called us about four monthsbefore this, screaming something about her Hoover attacking her.""What ya do about that?" Detective Miller asked."Well, first I called her doctor and had him meet me there with some sedatives. Idecided to bring a starter pistol loaded with blanks. When I got there, she was locked inher bathroom, and the Hoover was lying upended in the middle of the living room floor. Icoaxed her out of the bathroom to watch me shoot six blanks into that poor old Hoover.Then the doctor did his business, and I left with a new Hoover for the office. The next dayshe called the Captain and asked that I be commended for taking care of that quote'wretched beast'".Lt. Henderson crushed out his Dunhill and grabbed a glazed one from the Dunkin'Doughnuts box in the middle of the table. He shoved half of it into his mouth andcontinued talking while he chewed, "Anyway, we had to check this one out regardless ofhow many times she cried wolf, or beast, or whatever. When we got there, we foundexactly what Ms. Leimbach had described." He pronounced it "deffcrived" with help fromthe doughnut."There was indeed a body lying in a safety net four stories above the apartmentbuilding parking lot. Since we had no way to get to the body, we called the fire departmentand had them bring in a step truck to take us up." He swallowed down the half chewedlump in his mouth and stuffed in the other half."Richards and I went up with one of the firemen and what I saw was probably themost disgusting sight I have ever had the privilege of witnessing. He was very dead. Imean this guy didn't even have a face left. We assumed he had lost it somewhere betweenthe top of the twelve story apartment building and...

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