Salvation Lies Within You Essay

4404 words - 18 pages

She never quite knew what was expected of her, nor did she care. After high school, she did not even attempt college, it seemed too pretentious and cliché, paying to “learn” more about the world instead of actually living it. She longed for other ways to expand her mind. As the windowpane rattled under the soft torrents of rain through the streets of the Manhattan village, Veazey sat, knees bent to her chest, wondering what was to become of her. “Waitressing, is such bullshit” she thought. It could hardly pay her rent, not to mention provide a meager meal once a week. She could not even afford a taxi to take her home from each shift; so today she walked home through the forty-degree pouring rain. Sometimes she felt like one of those after-school specials. Her few friends with whom she worked with also lived a poor life, consisting of work and recovering drug addictions. But self-pity, being not in nature, taught her not to dwell on the burdens which life threw her way.

Her mother had died, saving Veazey’s life from an apartment fire when Veazey was only five; her life would never be the same. From that night onward, she spent most of her life jumping from one foster home to another. But that was not the reason. Almost every night she would suffer through these strange dreams. Psychologists that the social workers provided for her claimed her nightmares of catastrophe were obvious signs of post-traumatic stress syndrome, and put her on heavy medication immediately. Although, it was only when the social workers had decided that it was time Veazey stop consumption of the pills, around 8 years old, that the terror returned ten times fold. She remembers watching the nightly news on TV when she was 8 and becoming overwhelmed with a strange feeling of remembrance, later to be defined to her as deja vu. By watching stories of murder, accidental car crashes, power plant explosions and even house fires; Veazey knew she had heard these stories before. Not only did she know the events clearly without any mistake, she would remember every step of the murderer’s feet, every inch the car would take before careening out of control, every last minute detail. She saw it all in her dreams. When normal kids would be watching cartoons before going to bed, Veazey could not take her eyes of the frightening images she saw on the TV screen. The doctors of course wouldn’t believe her, being only eight, and obviously suffering from repressed memories of her mother’s fatal accident. But after a long two years of having panic attacks in the home over the fear of going to bed, the doctors had to put Veazey back on the medication. Gradually, the nightmares slowed down and eventually stopped altogether and Veazey could reclaim her broken life while functioning as a semi-normal adolescent. Though recently at the age of turning eighteen, social security would not pay for her medication anymore and she certainly could not afford it. So the nightmares returned. And so did the...

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