Self-Assessment and Reflection
In the last seven weeks, I had an opportunity to look back and analyze the events that has shaped my life. This was a unique experience where I was emotionally comfortable enough to look back at life. I was able to objectively revisit many events that were often buried and too painful to face. I was free from the turmoil of emotional fears of failure, anger, regret and loneliness, which often clouded my perception. .
I was able to dwell on many pleasant and unpleasant events with more comfort and confidence. I accepted each event as part of life, regardless of whether it was a good or bad experience. I understand that life transpires even when we are not prepared for it, but more importantly, it is how we deal with circumstances that keep us going forward. For the first time, there was clarity and I became aware of two main points one was my life changing/challenging experience and the second was my financial growth.
My life has been a journey filled with challenging experience, which consist of some unfixable actions, like leaving home. I grew up in an authoritarian, religious environment where personal expression and freedom did not exist. Since I could remember, there was a constant pressure for me to conform into Indian Christian society. Over the years the burden of not being able to convey my feelings and endless demands grew to hatred and retaliation toward my parents. The day after my high school graduation, without letting anybody know I disappeared. I packed all my belongings and moved to Houston, where my friend had moved a year before. My moving was one of the greatest decisions I ever made, helping me to mature as an individual and to understand and experience a life that I never thought possible.
One major guilty element that has plagued me is how I had deceived my parents and left them with a bag of fears and uncertainty. Without even letting them know if I was safe or without even trying to discuss my unhappiness, I vanished for three days. Those three days must have been the worst days of their lives. I was not man enough to stand up to my parents and express my discontent. Rather than to disentangle the issue by talking thing out with my parents, I became a coward and ran away.
Upon manifestation, I have learned a lot during that challenging experience, especially how to be an independent individual. I got my own place, bought a new car, and went to school full time while working full time. I supported myself financially, emotionally and mentally. Even though my move to Houston was the right one, I executed the move without thinking things through. I should have stopped being self-centered and thought of the pain and anguish that it would cause my parents. This life learning experience has been a double-edged sword, because it has taught me to stand up for what I want, yet on the other hand, sometimes running away is probably the best thing to do, which will help to clear...