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Split In Two Essay

1014 words - 5 pages

While divorce gives parents a new opportunity to start a new life, it leads to an unfortunate twist in lifestyle for the children. In “What About The Kids? Raising Your Children Before, During, and After Divorce” Judith S. Wallerstein, Ph.D., a psychologist who spent 25 years of her life studying the effects of divorce on children, and Sandra Blakeslee, a scientist writer who has spent nearly all of her career writing for New York Times, wrote, “Each decision to divorce begins a long journey that holds surprising, unexpected turns.”. Divorce leads to many unforeseen negative consequences for the children involved. Some common symptoms such as, anxiety, depression, guilt and grief should appear in the children’s behavior.
Anxiety is used as a general term for many disorders that cause nervousness fear, and worrying; children experience nearly the same feelings when their parents divorced, for children feel overly intense and uptight. As American Academy of Child and Adolescent points out, a couple of the symptoms of separation anxiety are: constant worries about family and being overly clingy. A common children's worry appears when children go away from a parent leaving the other parent alone; moreover, children think that in their absence parents get hurt or sick. Another common worry appears when the children sleep. Children have nightmares about their parent’s separation, fearing to be left alone at some point. Helpguide.org states that children are clingy with the parent that is taking care of them by following him/her around the house and hold to the parent’s arm if he/she attempts to step out side of the house. The overly clingy attitude of children toward parents is caused by the children’s fear of being separated of the parent taking care of him/her. Anxiety in children going through a parent’s divorce is sometimes unnoticed. Sometimes children don’t know how to express their feelings, and hence their simply actions should tell you what children are going through.
Alienation is the first sign of depression in many children that are experiencing a parent’s divorce. As Stahl, Ph.D. points out in “Parenting After Divorce; Resolving Conflicts and Meeting Your Children’s Needs”, children become alienated towards a parent when he/she is constantly fighting against the other parent after divorce. Parents usually use kids as messengers to avoid talking to each other; consequently, the kid enters in a stage of uncertainty not knowing who to believe. The child decides to alienate from a parent, and also starts to isolates from their friend, thus becoming depressed (129). Depression causes the children to stop socializing with friends, and stop spending family time; occasionally, resulting in the lack of social interaction. Depressed kids often tend to create their own closed bubble in which not a single soul is welcome since the kid lacks of abilities to maintain a relationship that is caused by their own interpretation of relations based on their...

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