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Starved: The Ideal Body Weight Essay

678 words - 3 pages

The guilt and shame wore heavily on me. I knew I was mistreating my body and denying it of much needed nutrition. I felt someone my age should know much better than to do something so drastic like this. I thought to myself "how could I let this happen?" The deep regret and embarrassment consumed me and still does to this day. Ever since I was a young child, the media has broadcasted the "thin ideal" in almost every way possible. Not only are there models on the covers of magazines such as Vogue and Vanity Fair, but there are an immense amount of advertisements persuading woman that it is necessary to be thin in the world today. Throughout the years, I have had a constant battle with the way I thought my body should like and what society thought was acceptable.

Growing up, I was always a bit heavier than other children my age and was criticized for my weight constantly by peers and family. I wasn't overweight but i wasn't ideally skinny like celebrities and actresses I had seen in the magazines and the movies day after day. I wouldn't call it bulimia or anorexia because I didn't force myself to throw up or starve myself in anyway. To me, I considered my behavior as just eating fewer calories than a normal young adolescent girl my weight should have been eating on a daily basis. I felt extremely pressured to look a certain way because being thin was beautiful to some people. Being thin made me confident, more outgoing, and made me feel as though i was in control of my body and nobody could tell me what to do.

I started to obsess about food. Dream about food. Fantasize about food. I would wake up in a morning so starved but would force myself to stick to my very restricted diet. Over time I had discovered how calories worked and began reading the nutrition facts each time before I ate something....

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