I have learned to live my life through trial and error; I believe mistakes should be accepted without regret. I didn't always think in this manner, I originally was a perfectionist. I strived to be the best at everything I did and it stunted my growth in life for quite some time. After I understood the value of my life, I realized the key was to live genuinely; to live for a purpose that was not only important to myself, but to others as well. I was not taught morality, I had to learn it the hard way. The course, Spiritual Life and Growth, has taught me morality to some extent.
On the first week of attending Spiritual Life and Growth, I decided to take a break from my commission based job for a few years; I understood the consequences- if I did not sell I did not earn. I began to cleanse myself, by answering the questions, “Who am I? What do I love?” I was able to truly tap into myself: spiritually, and I understood I was forced to find a new career path, because of the love I had for myself, and let go of my prior job. My career, of the past ten years, has been extremely stressful, and is likely responsible for my high blood pressure condition presently. I realized, I would lose business, and my current competitors would likely collect commission checks on business I was supposed to earn. However, I made my schooling a priority, and I accepted Autumn with open arms.
In “Let Your Life Speak: Listening For The Voice Of Vocation”, Parker J. Palmer (2000) stated “Autumn constantly reminds me that my daily dyings are necessary precursors to new life.” (p.100) In Autumn, my branches leaves died, and fell off of the tree that nurtured me, and allowed me to make a living- without a college degree; because of my departure (my daily dyings) from my job , I realize it has allowed my competitors (new life) to make more sales, and earn additional money. Unfortunately, in order for me to progress in my life, I understood I had to make sacrifices.
In “Let Your Life Speak: Listening For The Voice Of Vocation”, Parker J. Palmer (2000) stated “ The little deaths of autumn are mild precursors to the rigor mortis of winter...what we get in winter is not weather but divine retribution.”(p.100-101) On the second and third week of attending Spiritual Life and Growth, I began to feel the effects of quitting my job. My bank funds began to diminish; without income coming in, and debits going out, I was on the road to financial death- I felt like a failure.
I had truly reached the Winter season in my life- my job had always been stressful, but I was able to maintain; without earning income I was unable to support my family, and I was forced to swallow my pride and request financial assistance from my fiance's mother. I thought I made the wrong choice- by irresponsibly departing from my line of work; I felt like I was facing retribution- as if God, was punishing me for not working. I was confused, on one hand, I went back to school and tried to better myself for...