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The Afterlife Adventures Of Stuart Jones.

3738 words - 15 pages

Chapter 1A New Life"I didn't see it coming. Well. Okay. I did see it coming. I mean it's kind of hard not to see a twelve car subway train barrelling down at you with its high beams locked onto your forehead. Of course, I heard it coming first. Then I looked up and saw it. But it really wasn't enough time to register the fact that it coming at me. Two point five seconds is hardly a lifetime. Speaking of which, mine did not float past my eyes. What a sack of rubbish that concept is. Still, it was enough time for me to unload into my boxers before getting tapped on the nose by the caboose, giving the train station walls a fresh coat of paint. Chunky red... The new drab grey... And then poof, I'm here. Long white room. Lots of uncomfortable wooden chairs. Take a number please, and wait for eternity... So how did you die?""Choked on a peanut.""Well that sucks."Seen from afar, these two men appear to be having a very normal conversation. As normal a conversation as can be had in an infinitely long, 5 foot wide, very white room. Or hallway rather. A hallway filled with lots of brown wooden folding chairs lining both walls that stretch toward the horizon only to be swallowed up by the brilliant shades of white in the distance. A hallway with no doors. Actually, to be quite honest, it wouldn't appear normal no matter how far away the conversation was!"I'm #3. What number are you?""3.14159.""3.14159? That's interesting. Why would they use decimals? Wait a second... That guy down there is #3.14159 26535. And that woman there is #3.14159 26535 89793 23846 26433 83279 50288 41971 69399 37510 58209 74944 59230 78164 06286 20899 86280 34825 34211 70679 82148 08651 32823 06647 09384 46095 50582 23172 53594 08128 48111 74502 84102 70193 85211 05559 64462 29489 54930 38196 44288 10975 66593 34461 28475 64823 37867. These numbers are all just different pieces of pi!""Well that makes sense. Pi is a non-repeating, non-terminating decimal. You're guaranteed a different number for each person.""But wouldn't you get the same effect from using whole numbers?""How do you figure?""Numbers don't run out! You can go as high as you want!""Oh."The man seated on the left-hand side had the likely name of Stuart Jones. He is the one who was run over by a train, or rather run through by a train. He is also the man who is quite flustered over the system of order in the place where he now finds himself. The other, far more relaxed man seated on the right, has had his name changed in order to protect his identity and his dignity. Honestly. Who suffers death by peanut?"Well I can't take the wait any longer," proclaimed Stuart. "I haven't heard a single number been called out yet. I'm going to find out who's in charge."After standing so swiftly and forcefully that his chair fell over, folded up and placed itself into a corner that appeared out of nowhere only to disappear again as another chair took its place, Stuart began to march off into the distance. He then proceeded to pause and...

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