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The Effects Of Divorce On Children

1921 words - 8 pages

In today's society, where nothing ever seems to last, many marriages often find themselves facing serious, as well as, stressful marital issues such as divorce. Divorce is often a result of many marital conflicts and often involves not only the couple itself but also the children of the marriage. Due to the serious nature and emotional turmoil concerning divorce, the results are often extremely damaging on the child/children of the broken marriage. Many problems arise involving the children's mental health. Children often suffer from intense traumatic stress, a long list of psychological problems, lowered academic achievement and behavioral problems, and inability to form strong social bonds and relationships. All of which add to the long-term effects of the children's mental and emotional well being.For obvious reasons, children see divorce as something extremely stressful and traumatic and are often confused and concerned about their own security. In a 1988 survey by professor Jeanne Dise-Lewis, 700 junior high school students, asked to rate a number of life events in terms of stressfulness, ranked parental divorce as the most stressful, aside from the death of a parent or close family member. Though many parents believe that divorce is the best solution for both themselves and the children, the children would rather have their parents stay in a dysfunctional marriage than get divorced. Contrary to popular beliefs, the alternatives to most divorces is not life in a war zone. Though more than 50 percent of all marriages currently end in divorce, experts say that only about 15 percent of all unions involve high levels of conflict. In fact most marriages dissolve due to the quest for greener grass (extra-marital affairs).Divorce leads to intense traumatic stress of the child and leads to heavy worries and fears. Children often question things like "What if they both leave me?" "What is it that I did wrong?" "Did I cause the divorce?" "Now what's going to happen to me?" In most divorce cases, children are found to have strong fears of their parents fighting over possessions, legal issues and custody battles. The fighting leads to the children's constant worries about being abandoned and the feelings of loneliness and heartache are on the children's mind creating further stress. Anxiety levels peak as they feel, because their parents are so caught up in their own problems and may accidentally neglect the child, that they are going to be abandoned or rejected by one or even both the parents. The long absence of one of the parents causes the feelings of loneliness to first arise and the child may feel like the missing parent has divorced them too. Also the fears of what will become of the missing parent and whether or not they will ever see them again plague the child's mind.A large majority of children often accept responsibility for their parents' divorce. They blame themselves and believe that they have done something wrong and have made mommy and...

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