You could smell the excitement. Girls, boys, women, men, babies,
everyone. If you stepped into a fairground at anytime it would be
writhing will people packed to the rafters unable to move, any shape
any age and I guarantee, every single one of them would be having a
The first ride you go on would be a “Midi”. A “Midi” is a ride not as
boring as the floating swans, but not as scary as the Oblivion, for
example. You see the boring ones are called “Bozes”, because they are
just – boring, the scary ones are called “Scazes” because like I said
they are scary then the bits in between are called “Midis” you really
go on them to get started off because if you started on a scary one it
would be too much too soon. A classic “Midi” would probably be the
Walters because it gets you started, a boring one would be “The
Crooked House” but no mater how boring it would be you have to go on
it – it’s the law. A typical scary ride would be something with a gory
name like the “Gut Guzzler” or the “Brain Basher”. The ones where you
cant walk when you’ve got off, the ones where they throw you 50 feet p
into the air and you loose your eyes to the sky.
You can see the different coloured lights a mile off, luminous
yellows, greenspi8nks, reds and blue. When you get into the grounds,
it takes you five minuets to read the words they’re spelling out, that
is if you don’t go to fairs often, I could tell you what each ride is
just at a glance.
When you get off the Waltzers or the Holly-Wood, you want something to
eat, and you discover it’s “ONE POUND FIFTY FOR A PORTION OF CHIPS?”.
They are all scabby and bruised, but compared to the intestine which
was supposed to be a sausage, you decide to be the victim to daylight
robbery. The you get your choice of teeth rotting treats, candy floss
or toffee apples, I always go for toffee apples it lasts longer
because it takes you half the night to bite through the toffee.
You decide to brave a “scazza”, after a portion of scabby and a half
eaten toffee apple, because the other half is lying half eaten in the
bottom of a waste bin, as you admitted defeat. You decide to go on the