The Differences of Men and Women Men and women often misunderstand each other. Though we do not plan or
expect to make life difficult for each other, we often mistake the
ideas and feelings of a person of the other sex. We sometimes get
trapped into thinking that behavior can be predicted by gender which
is often not the case
Why is it that when a woman says one thing her spouse hears something
completely different? That is a theme of conversations frequently
overheard in offices, restaurants, waiting rooms, salons and long
checkout lines among colleagues, friends and even new acquaintances.
Why does it seem so hard to communicate with the opposite sex?
This is not unique to one gender, however. It is well known to most of
us that males often sympathize with one another, warning grooms-to-be,
newly dating teens and fellow husbands that communication with females
is a mystery of legendary proportions and fraught with hazardous
"I've asked him a hundred times to call if he's going to be late. What
is so hard to understand about that? What do I have to say?"
"Why does she have to make such a big deal out of it? I just forgot!
And, I keep on hearing about it."
Both genders often appear confounded by the seemingly coded language
and inexplicable reactions of their partners.
Why do we seem to speak different languages? Many books have been
written offering a number of theories and explanations. John Gray has
written several books addressing gender communication. Perhaps the
most wellknown and widely quoted is Men are from Mars, Women are from
Venus. John Gottman, author of Why Marriages Succeed or Fail has
thoroughly researched the topic in the past decade.
With all the bright and experienced minds in this world, it would seem
that we could get definitive answers. Of course, we do have answers.
So what is the problem? Why do we have so many misunderstandings and
disappointments in our communication with our mates if we have the
answers? Is it that we don't like the answers? Maybe. Is it that we
don't understand the answers? Probably.
We interpret our mate's communications (words, body language and
meanings) through our own experience and goals. Of course, you say,
how else could we respond? Well, as humans, we have the ability to
empathize, to imagine and put ourselves in another person's shoes.
What do we do if we meet someone from another culture and we want to
understand and be understood? We would probably want to consider what
is important to that person so we would...