Driving through the dessert can be wearisome, fatiguing and all the things that you dreadin a long drive. Not this trip, it was the new beginning, I was on my way to find myself. Ihad 14 hours to contemplate the reasons I was doing this. My friends said I was nuts,family said I was stupid. Let's see, nuts and stupid, um, O.K. I guess everyone has theirown opinion. Its not really what I wanted to hear, but I could see their point.Yuma, Arizona, my hometown, lived there for 10 years, graduated from high school, hadlots of friends, had a great job, but one crucial element was missing, I just wasn't happythere. Everyone, including my family, (who by the way, all moved back south), said I hadeverything going for me. I, on the other hand, did not feel that way. There were hundredsof reasons why I should have stayed, carried on, but it only took a few significant reasonsto abandon my so called perfect life in Yuma, Arizona.I remember driving, looking out of the window at the mountains and clay colored rocks. Irealized just how beautiful it all was. Again, my thoughts turned back to my life. The manI thought I would end up sharing my so-called perfect life with. I could see his face,remember his smile, hear him laugh. Jim and I were great friends for a long while. Almosta whole year, until I began to actually feel something stronger. I had never been in lovebefore and it had been an overwhelming feeling. At a party, I had too much to drink andon the way home blurted out how I had felt. He smiled and drove me home. The nextday he came by my house and sat me down and told me he had felt the same way. Itbegan. Two wonderful years, of now loving my best friend. It wasn't always wonderful,we had our bad moments, but I was the happiest I could ever remember. Jim was still inthe Army, it was time for him to decide whether to re-enlist for another 3 years or get out,be a civilian. He decided to get out. Jim was a very private person. It was hard for himto share himself with anyone, even me. I respected that, and gave him his privacy. But Inever realized that meant that he would leave Yuma and leave without me. I never toldhim how I felt and he never discussed his feelings with me. Our last week together wasthe best. We stayed up all night and gazed at the stars and went into the dessert andwatched the sunrise. Those times I will never forget. The day came, we got up and Idrove him to the Phoenix airport. The drive seemed endless. We kissed goodbye, and hewas gone. I drove back to Yuma, and went to work.I had been employed by the Federal Government, a Civil Servant is what we were called.My job description was Computer Information Specialist. Which simply meant that Icreated programs for divisions on a military installation. My last assignment was to createa program for the communication division. I worked intensely on this program. Loggingin around 25 hours overtime, and 3 months of work. Three days before my bigpresentation, that was to be given to the division...
