”Hey, so about that tour you were giving me… are you going to continue?” I said as I jogged over to Jai, who was standing with some other circus entertainers which surprisingly looked the same age as him compared to the ones I lived with. The girls I lived with where much older, the youngest looked around fifteen or sixteen years old minimum.
But somehow Jai wasn’t so happy to see me as for a couple of moments ago; as soon as I finished my sentence he rushes towards me and cover my mouth but stops cause he realize it is too late, his friends started laughing at him while pointing their fingers at us when we are only a couple of feet away.
Now I remember; I am the weird, stubborn little girl who is only trying to chase her dream. They are idiots. If only they all would see potential I actually have. I know I can do it, we all have very even chances of making it, and so why not do the best of the time and not fight about it? Before my own thoughts dragged me into my imaginary world Jai complained;
“Ugh, did you really have to do that?” He said without making eye contact and just started walked away with big steps, making it hard for me to hold up with him.
“Do what? Burst your ego, maybe?” I say teasingly as I look at his profile angle while my feet try to stride in the same rhythm like his. He actually looks less like a jerk from that way. ‘Good point.’ My inner voice talks and I nod my head to the side as I was agreeing to it.
“You must really want to be eaten by the lions, don’t you? Or else you are just the most annoying kid I have ever met in my whole life on the road, and trust me their standards of annoyance were high.” He put his bent hand up over his head as far as it could go to show how ’high’ their standards were. I rolled my eyes at him as we continued to walk around the big field.
“Don’t you think you are overreacting?”
“No. Not at all actually.” He replied popping the ‘p’.
“Why don’t you? I know I would.” I wondered.
“For the love of God, shut it!” He yelled at me as he trashed his hands from his temples to his sides. Usually I would say or do something to make the situation worse and make him even more annoyed, but I actually felt compassion for him considering the pain I am and decided that for once to keep my mouth closed. Plus I got a bit scared; I mean who would not be? He is quite intimidating to be honest and I think he knows that too.
He stopped walking and took deep breathes with his back turned away from me, I could feel his frustration and it made some of my breakfast this morning bile up in my throat with a horrid taste. I swallowed it down again and could feel it turn into guilt in the pit of my stomach.
“I am sorry.” I apologized very quietly, so quiet it barley passed as a whisper. I do not think he heard me considering I didn’t either. My words sounded mostly like mumbles into the thick spring air. After that I think I heard Jai calming down. He walked slower and wondered;
“What did you say?” with a playful grin...