The Effects Of Divorce On Children

953 words - 4 pages

DivorceAdvanced Human Growth and DevelopmentDivorce 2My parents divorced when I was three years old. This one event in my life has either directly or indirectly shaped every decision I've ever made. The breakdown in communication between my parents didn't hurt them but in turn put an intense amount of needless stress on me as a young child. I never had delusions of my parents getting back together like what is stated in the online article Divorce Effects on Children ( Eleoff 2003). My father left my mother which made her feel abandoned and incredibly bitter. She tried to compensate for this by remarrying very quickly to my current stepfather.Collectively they constantly bashed my father verbally all through my child hood and this continues to this day. This had an indirect effect on my self confidence. They made me feel bad for loving my father or going to see him like it was one giant competition for my affection they wanted me to love my mother more than my father. I felt like I was just something my mother could say she had over my father.I never acted out verbally or physically like is stated in the research I collected but I withdrew gradually from contact with my stepfather. Following the old saying of letting sleeping dogs lie I would tip toe around not sayDivorce 3anything unless asked and just try to stay out of his way. This has led to me bottling my emotions inside instead of letting them out which even today I have problems with. Any time I get angry I just keep it inside and it builds and builds until I lose my temper and explode into a ball of rage. I struggle with this daily and feel that it has led to the development of an ulcer.My stepfather was a very authoritarian type parent when I was young and it seemed I was always being yelled at for things I didn't know I was doing wrong. In fact it always seemed like he was angry.They had two additional children together, my sister who is six years younger than me and my brother who is eight years younger than I am. It always seemed that he related to them different than he did me. He would even say " When your brother and sister get your age they won't get away with this." or things of that nature but when that time came around it seemed that they were more lenient on them than me.But the one glaring problem in my development stemming from my parents divorce is in my own personal romantic life. As stated in the article The Effects Of Parental Divorce On Adult Children's Romantic Relationships (Wood,1997) I have problems trusting my partners and am always sabotaging myDivorce 4own relationships subconsciously because I am afraid of...

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