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The Feels: Emotions That Need To Be Supressed

847 words - 4 pages

I’m not usually a sentimental person, nor emotional, but some circumstances certainly get to you. It’s something that in this day and age has become a quality of weakness or immaturity, in the attempt to be the stereotypical big, strong, man. I had an encounter with this unfamiliar territory in the summer of 2012. There were three occasions that struck me as unnatural: going to the Arlington National Cemetery, living with my aunt on an Air Force Base for a week, and going to my soccer coach’s funeral. Within these events, I was subject to feelings that I tend to suppress.
My first venture happened while venturing around Washington DC. We had spent most of the day looking at various sites around DC, and were pretty tired at this point. We were going to go to the cemetery anyways, because my grandpa was buried there. He was Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force, but unfortunately passed away in a small plane crash six years before I was born. After arriving at his grave, I felt an overwhelming sense of grief and sorrow. It was one of the most emotionally impacting experiences of my life. Even though I had never known him, and frankly hadn’t wondered about it much, the feelings flowed uncontrollably. This has shown how much people can care about things that don’t seem to have much connection to them.
Early that spring, I had played soccer with the team I always had played with, and as had happened every season since third grade, we won every game. But about two weeks into summer vacation, I was at home and heard the phone ring. I didn’t recognize the number, so I let it go. As I heard the message, it didn’t really sink in until I replayed it. It just didn’t seem to send any meaning. But that all changed at his funeral. That was when it struck me that I would never see, hear from, hear about, or talk to him again. It was a surreal feeling, something that I still feel queasy thinking even as a think back now. I haven’t really lost any close family member in my life, honestly I can’t name one, so this has really been the only impactful death that has occurred and impacted me. This made me realize how quickly people, things, even opportunities can disappear, even if they have existed for a long time already. This makes me put more thought...

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