The Loss of a Life Partner
Feelings of loss are very personal because only the person involved in the loss knows what is significant to them. People commonly associate certain losses with strong feelings of grief.
The solitude is always agonizing, especially for someone who has never lived alone. Many people lose their spouses each year. Because the modern society has few mourning rituals other than the memorial service, they may find themselves alone and disconsolate just when they are most in need of comfort.
Different Kinds of Loss
Loss of one’s partner can be due to various reasons including:
· Death of a partner/Bereavement
· Serious or dilapidating illness of a loved one
If you—or your loved one—has become sick or injured, expect a number of physical, emotional and financial changes in your life. Coping with these changes can be very difficbrt, even overwhelming at times, but the following strategies may help:
· Relationship breakup/Separation
This involves losing a partner from a problematic relationship. Although it might seem easier to lose a partner when the relationship has been difficult or unsatisfying, the feelings of dissatisfaction can make the survivor vulnerable to guilt and second thoughts. When he/she remembers the best times of the relationship, self-blame can convince the individual that if he/she had done things differently, they could have had good times. The grief then can be colored easily by regret and guilt. If the survivor's friends and family are aware of the difficulties in the relationship, they may expect the person to quickly move on and they may not support her process of grieving.
We have a cultural prohibition about speaking ill of the dead. Because of this prohibition, the survivor may find no opportunity to talk about the different aspects of her experience because only the positive aspects are acceptable. Also, if she wants to begin a new relationship, she may have difficulty cultivating a positive identity as a partner because of the negative experiences with her lost partner.
Bereavement triggers a normal, natural, healthy process that often leaves the victim/bereaved partner feeling far from normal, natural and healthy. Indeed it can leave you feeling quite mad, suicidal, or even like harming others. Feeling like it for a period of time is one thing, if you think about acting on it, then it is time to get help and support from a professional who is experienced and trained in bereavement issues.
One of the most important things to remember, is that these feelings - whatever they are, won't last forever. It is very frightening to experience such powerful and intense feelings that you have not perhaps, experienced before. People often describe feeling distant, alone, and isolated, that no one seems to understand them. They may feel they are going crazy, or just wish they were no longer alive. These are all very common, but are little...