All I could focus on was my Mum and telling her the great news. She would be proud of me... For once. She might even see that her "waste of a space" daughter, is getting all the things she wants in life to become a doctor, she never believed I could accomplish.
That was, if she was even there.
Third year of high school. I walked into my house, expecting everything to be as normal. Mum sitting watching TV and my dinner sitting in the kitchen. Instead? I sat for four hours wiping tears off my face, it was almost peeling, with thoughts that I may not see my own Mother again. Cars constantly pulling up outside the house, blue and red were the only colours I could see. Asked question, after ...view middle of the document...
My heart skipping faster and faster. I began to run the silky, smooth blade through my fingertips. The rush was so overwhelming, it made my stomach twist and turn with anxiousness, as if every problem in the world would disappear. It was the only one who understood me when life got hard, like a true best friend.
I had to drag the blade neatly through my own flesh, the blood beginning to run down my arm. Drip, drip as it hit my bedroom floor. I couldn't think straight, I was finally happy; all my problems were fading with one simple action. The blood was now flowing. It was a beautiful sight to me, the dark crimson liquid running gracefully down my arm, creating a puddle on the wooden floor.
A deep ringing entered my ears and echoed into the dark sub-conscious of my mind. The doorbell. Everything came back to me, where I was and what I was doing. I was in shock as reality hit me like a brick to the head, panic over ruled. I dropped everything, as the blade hit the floor questions started flooding my head, like fire spreading through a field. As everything rushed through my head at once, one critical thing slipped out my grasp, the doorbell; someone was a wooden panel away from the blade, the blood and its puddle on the floor. The noise rang deep into my brain; i grabbed the rug from under my bed and covered the puddle with it. As for my best friend, I placed him back in his home, safe and away from danger. Then I froze, I had noticed my arm, it was worse than ever before. I picked up a towel and swirled it around my problems and put on my jumper.
I look back up at my bedroom, my worries, problems and concerns slowly began to appear again. I continue, making sure they stayed hidden, keeping my problems close to me. I started to feel cold, thin red liquid trickling down my hand. I slipped my hand into my pocket. I just felt more blood running, my heart beat was pulsating through my body and my mind was fully focused on the door. I felt slightly light headed, as I placed my sweaty, bloody hand on the handle and looked through the small piece of glass. Nobody was there, I sharply backed away. As I let go of the handle, it was back, the voice. “This time you have done it, there's no going back, it'll be okay and at least you'll never need to worry, again." I looked at the dark red substance dripping from the handle. I just laughed, I knew I was fine, everyone...