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The Love Of My Life Essay

665 words - 3 pages

Even I didn't recognize myself. I don't know why I gothrough those periods of time... but every once in a whileI do. I haven't now in a while though... I haven't feltsexually deviant or angry. I have been a bit distant, andsomewhat depressed, but by now I am used to that. I neededto write today, because... yet AGAIN, I am thinking aboutmy ex. It has been almost eight years since I have seenhim, and in the time since I have met, dated, & married myhusband; but I still can't get HIM out of my head.Does anyone out there know if there is such a thing astrue love? I mean from the day I met Jim, I have nevergone a day without loving him. Oh, I love my husband also,butthe feeling is still different. With Jim, the feelingsare somehow deeper, more physically charged. When Jim wentaway to college, and announced that he wanted to go tocollege a "free man," my heart sunk... and I questioned mywhole reality. I don't think a day goes by that I don'twonder how it could be that I could love someone so much,and them not feel the same for me. What kind of cruel andsick cosmic joke is that?!?For the longest time, I believed my feelings would fade...that my love for him was nothing more than a teenage kindof love. We had dated all through high-school, and he nodoubt was my first love... but I guess, I banked on thehope that my heart would eventually let him go. It hasn't,though. I mean, sure... I don't cry every day any more,and live a decently productive life, but I have done itfinally... not because I ever forgot Jim or because myfeelings ever grew weaker... but instead, because I haveresigned myself to never being able to let go. As if Ihave had my right arm taken from me... of course I wish itwere still there, but that is a wish...

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