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The Most Hateful Words; Hearty Forgiveness

1080 words - 4 pages

“I hate you. I wish I were dead…” are the words of Amy Tan, which are included in her essay “The Most Hateful Words”. The hatred is directed to her mother, with whom, she had a turbulent relationship. The sixteen year old Tan talks about never being able to forgive her mother for all the injustices she had to endure. Tan and her mother didn’t have the greatest relationship, however at the age of 47, Tan saw herself forgiving her ill mother. Forgiveness should be learned and practiced by all, rancor is a heavy burden to carry and can turn a person into a miserable being.
Tan’s essay is compelling to forgiveness. She is a prime example on how carrying around anger and sadness can make a person cold and bitter. Tan describes herself as “impenetrable” and talks on “hardening her heart”, a method of protection from any other pain or suffering. Tan first states that the words felt like a storm in her chest. Carrying all that built of frustration lead to Tan’s wordy explosion of “I hate you”. If Tan would have forgiven her mother from that early age maybe their relationship would have been better. On the other hand, Tan carried around that rancor for ages. Storing the hatred she felt for the unstable relationship with her mother. At the age of 47, Tan recognizes that she is a total different person. The severity of the relationship is easily identified by Tan’s shock in receiving a call from her mother. Tan’s ill mother asks for forgiveness and Tan is able to do so. Tan could have possibly forgiven so easily because she craved that peace with her mother. They say dire times call for desperate measures. She needed that apology in order to move on to the next stage in life. Forgiveness is part of a healing process. Tan immediately felt the storm she felt in her chest being ceased. The storm is a metaphor for Tan’s emotions being in shambles. Carrying those emotions for thirty-one years takes a toll on a person. Tan was so open to forgive especially because of her mother’s words. “Together we knew in our hearts what we should remember, what we can forget.” Tan’s relationship with her mother can be described as abnormal but the forgiveness brought it a bit of normality.
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”(Mahatma Gandhi). Forgiveness is not about the person who apologizes, but it’s about the person who receives the apology. When I person decides to forgive they should do it for themselves. Forgiveness takes time and immense mental capacity. A person has to be very mature in order to forgive. When younger, it was hard for me to forgive others. I couldn’t understand why anyone would try and hurt me. The answer is simple, it called being human. It is a bit cliché, but nobody is perfect. Another reason why forgiveness is important is having perspective. If you were on the other end, would you want to be forgiven? In addition, if you live with negativity you will become negativity. I think it’s easier now for me to...

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