In the main room, Sidney walked over and stared at the scrapbook. He turned the pages, causing the officer to pull him away. "We’re here to collect what belongs to you with no side trips. Head to where you stayed and pick up your junk. No reason for you to touch anything else."
"OK, OK. I just wondered why that was here, and why the pages are torn out. I'll get my things."
The officer watched Sidney gather what belonged to him. Sadness stopped him a minute as he surveyed the room, and pulled the door shut. An aura of emptiness surrounded him as he trod the hall for possibly the last time. How would a God allow this to happen to a woman like Sally? Her simple confidence came close to making Sidney a believer, but her murder smothered those embers. His Mother believed in God and tried to instill her assurance in him. The fire lacked opportunity to ignite before she died. The grim reaper Death determined to snatch faith from his mind.
The attempt to gain knowledge to fill the void satiated him with more questions than answers. His mother's death initiated the doubt. Anguish tore at his young heart, and the God she trusted didn’t seem to care. His searches for understanding fostered the conclusion gods are a matter of superstition and ignorance. A crutch for weak people unfitted to meet life's crises.
Moreover, he labeled religion a leech, feeding on the frailties of an insecure populace. The leaders, those self-proclaimed direction pointers, satisfied their own greedy appetites. Goals accomplished by appealing to the gullibility of the adherents. Sally, however, insinuated neither naiveté nor incompetence. Her faith never operated for personal gain. This disturbed his beliefs about the religious. Based on his viewpoint, the only conclusion, self-deception.
Her murder did nothing to change his doubt of the existence of a god who cares. But, if no Supreme Being, justice for such heinous atrocity became impossible. Without an absolute authority and source of morality, each individual answered only to himself. The killing of an animal by another, breaks no law, but simply fulfills an instinct. Whether God, ultimate law, or ethics existed he did not care. Therefore, when he found her killer, justice would not wait for the far distant future.
In the parking lot the officer asked, "Where'll you stay tonight?"
"I'll find a place somewhere around. I was sleeping outside before Sally took me in."
"You might try the mission. There’s usually room for you."
"I’m forced to listen while they try to make me swallow religion. The outdoors are preferable." His pack on his shoulder, he headed across the blacktop.
At the First Church building, BA walked down the steps...