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The Mysterious Jack Adlridge Essay

2189 words - 9 pages

It was a dark and stormy night. The wind sighed softly through the half open window in the drawing room of Hampsted Mansion, where I happen to reside, with my strange oddities of pets. The inclement weather, as it was wont to do, aroused my musical tendencies. As it was my habit on such occasions to take the trolley down to Mardia Del Kung Fu's opera house, I made my way to the cloak room to fetch my overcoat. The very instant my hand touched the knob, I heard a terrific crash from deep within the old house. I can say that I jumped nearly clean out of my skin at this sudden and unexpected noise. Being a man of no mean bravery, indeed, I have proven my worth many times on the battlefields of India and South Africa serving as an officer in Her Majesties Royal Army, 3rd regiment, out of Dunkirk. This being the case, I took in my hand the heaviest object near my person, a 15th century Ming Dynasty vase. In all truth I would have been sorely tried had I broken it, but as luck would have it, it turns out that there was no occasion to use it. With this vase as my ally, I removed my fine French slippers from my feet and tiptoed back down the passageway to investigate. As I advanced, I turned over and over in my mind any possible cause of this intrusion.

I suspected a thief, as only last week a rascally scoundrel had broken through my fine stained glass window (which was given to me as a present by the Raja of Bhimbetika) and attempted to carry away a very valuable painting that was painted by the great Italian master, Guiseppe Pittoni. Unfortunately for him, he did not take into account my wide variety of tropical pets. Long story short, he was almost clean away when he was seized and locked away in the guard post by my baboon who was patrolling the grounds. I found him the next morning on my way into Birmingham. Poor fellow had practically beaten himself senseless in terror. But I digress. As I said, I was on my way back to see what I could see, when I heard yet another hideous crash. I hastened forward, deducing the origin of the sound. As I got closer I could distinctly hear a munching sound, this was an odd turn of events I must say. Peeking around the corner into the kitchen pantry and to my great disappointment, I saw in front of me, not a robber with malicious intent. No! It was my Llama! His belly was stretched to giant proportions, apparently he had awoken in the dead of night for a snack. He turned to look at me, I swear he was smiling! Of course this made me angry, how could it not? He had eaten almost 300 stone of extremely expensive monkey food. I rushed forward to smack his smug, hairy face, and just then he let out a obnoxious belch with such force that it blew my nightcap clean off my head. I staggered back, considerably surprised by this blast of foul Llama gas. Who would have guessed that such an emission could come from this tiny beast. Now I am no stranger to unusual happenings, but this event left me in a state of shock. Not only...

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