The Poisoned Apple: Stepmother And Child Relationship

1800 words - 7 pages

Step families are increasing families today and also the misunderstood families too. Marriage is hard but marriage with stepchildren is so much harder. In America, statistics indicate that currently 16% of all married couples in this country have at least one stepchild [Marianne Dainton]. Moreover current predictions are that 35% to 40% of children born in the 1980s will spend time in a stepparent family before they are young adults. So it is necessary that these children understand and take step families in positive way. The remarriage of a custodial father and the entrance of a stepmother create a new role in the family that may be viewed by the children as a threat to the family roles. When a woman married to men with child, it makes those woman anxious. “How to behave , how to love them and how to manage everything which can make everyone happy” thousands of these kind of questions come across their womens’ mind. Being a stepmother is new to a childless woman who never been into the situation with kids. She is about to enter in new life. It is easy to adjust for these couple with each other. The relationship between child-stepmother experiences the most difficulties. Children take longer time to accept a new person in their house. My research question is why stepmother face so many problems to adjust with children. In my paper, I am going to focus on the stepmothers’ myth, the unclear guidance and advises stepmother get, children’s point of view about remarriages of father and stepmother and also how these difficulties turn stepmother into depression and a wicked person. No one is perfect still we want to see stepmother as a perfect model. These makes them to work harder to get into that categories and sometimes, still children don’t accept their step mother. The pressure on women who partner with men who have children – to blend, to love, to come together, to fix it, to take the high road, to put his kids first, to have a sense of humor in the face of repeated rebuffs- are overwhelming. The most intense pressure of all is to win his kids over.
1) The unclear guidance and advises stepmother get
At first woman think, I love him, he loves me. I will love his kids too and his kids will love me too. Woman has these fantasy thought in their mind. Step mother start their journey by these beautiful and simple thoughts, but when they face reality its most likely heartbreaking. As Martin and lawrence point out in thier article that the step mother role carries with it specific a particularly negative social stigma (122). This creates a contradiction for women because, as a stepmother, they are expected to remain distant. Yet, at the same time, there are social expectations placed upon them to be caring and close because they are women.Thus, it’s so hard for a step mother to know what to chase. Being a stepmother is new to a childless woman who has never been into this situation. When she goes out for advise, she is often told that,” think of...

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