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The Title: Killing Joanne. A Short Story Written In The Styles Of Roald Dahl About A Husband Planning To Murder His Wife...With A Twist At The End.

1689 words - 7 pages

KILLING JOANNEHe had never really thought about killing Joanne before. They had been high school sweethearts and in the whirlwind of love that came with every teenage romance he had proposed after college. It was pleasant the first few years, but after the joy of being newly weds faded away, they became tired of each other, and sank into a dull marital complacency. The years melted into each other, each the same, every action done over so many times they were almost rituals. Joanne became predictable and uninteresting. Her quirky ways and mannerisms that had once seemed so cute now became annoying habits. Soon, the just avoided each other, each a stranger living in the same home.Then he met Colleen. She moved in across the street and it was as if a gust of wind came with her, sweeping away the heavy air that had settled around his being. She was beautiful, intelligent, and funny and brought with her a lust for life he had never experienced before. She was a painter, her artwork as breathtaking as her personality. He remembered standing in front of a canvas and being enthralled with the richness of its colors, its deep beauty and its fine brush strokes, and for once in his life being moved. From then on he had tried to spend as much time near her as possible, and every now and then would throw glances and smiles in her direction. It wasn't long before she noticed and those glances were returned.They met up at a small arty restaurant on the other side of town. It was everything he had hoped for. Their words, their humour, their expressions matched exactly. They had so much in common. Many times in the conversation they would finish each other's sentences. With embarrassed giggles, they laughed it off, but he knew that she felt what he did.They said goodbye at a taxi stand. She gave him a hug and he held her in his arms. He got to feel what it would be like if she were his to hold and keep, and it felt right, as if it were always meant to be. They were close, they were soul mates. The feeling was electric, so much deeper and more tender than anything he had ever felt with anyone before. He pulled her closer, but suddenly she moved away. "I like you, John," she said. "But... you're married to Joanne, I feel awful about this. It wouldn't work out." And with that she called a taxi and left, just ran out on the moment. He couldn't protest, she was right.Joanne. Joanne was the person who had been holding him down, who had brought him under. Joanne was the one who had made living so suffocating, so empty. The only obstacle stopping him and Colleen; a roadblock on his path to happiness. She was his downfallWhen one realizes one dislikes someone, it suddenly becomes easy to find reasons to support the feeling. Everything about Joanne became disgusting, insipid, insufferable. The way she left strands of hair in the bathtub after every shower. The way she would say pointless statements, and ask the same question everyday when he came home from work. "Hi John,...

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