The Value of Authoritative Parenting
There are many approaches to parenting and everyone has their own preferences as to what they think is best. In a fast paced rush around society, it is hard to know what the best choices are for your children. There is a struggle to balance what needs to be done with what can be done, and this has negative and positive feedback on the children. Parents play a critical role in shaping and guiding their children into functional confident adults. An effective parent will learn as they teach in order to grow into understanding with their children.
Authoritative parenting has a stronger positive outcome due to the balance maintained within the structure of this parenting style. According to developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind, “Authoritative parents are firm, setting limits for their children. As the children get older, these parents try to reason and explain things to them. They also set clear goals and encourage their children's independence,” (Baumrind 2005). For example, a young boy wants to play video games all day and the parent decides this is unwise. It is a nice day outside and the parent wants him to go out and play. An authoritative approach would be to sit down with the child and explain the positives of playing outside rather than the negatives of playing video games. The parent would appeal to the child's interests in order to engage the child in effective parenting. The child would then be able to see the positive side of the decision rather than just the negative consequences.
The parent would want the child to make a decision based on what would be the best for them rather than just what the child would want to do. This encourages him to make an independent decision based on information provided to him such as; the benefits of playing outside to get exercise, presenting the appeal of the basketball goal over a video game remote. This enables the child to voice an opinion and be heard get also be redirected based on what the parent thinks is best. If the parent just says no from the beginning this makes the child feel invalid as though their opinion doesn't count, resulting in a lack of confidence.
To an authoritative parent it is important to them that their children learn to make rational choices and they expect them to be responsible. They would also lead by example and show them the types of behaviors they believe to be preferable. By leading through example it illustrates to the child in a real-life setting how good choices have positive outcomes. This is shown to them in the life they live every day. They will see their parents happy and doing well this shows merit to the “cause and effect” type of decision-making.
In the book Drawing the Line, the four principles of self-management include: “First, we teach kids the rules, so that they can learn self organization. Second, from self organization kids learn self-awareness. As they learn the rules, they become aware of their...