This Scar (A Life Event That Impacted Me And The Results)

1066 words - 5 pages

“From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, I survived.” Craig Scott sums up my life in a sentence. From an abusive alcoholic father, to not having a home, to losing the only man that loved me from the beginning, I have gained many of these scars. Throughout my life I have been hit with challenges right after challenges. The hardest battle was the one I lost. On May 23, 2014, I lost my Papa. With my first loss, I had to take a hard look at life, and I learned many things.
Through the tears of losing my partner in crime, I opened my eyes to the realization that life comes with a silver lining. All through my life I have been blessed with one miracle after the other, but through loss of Papa and the gaining of Eli, I truly saw it. For the longest time, I was unable to see any way that my life could be able to recover. Nothing would ever fill the whole in my heart, after the portion my Papa took with him. You see, a week after my Papa went to party with the angels my brother Elijah Blaine Nielsen was born. It was as if God had sent me a reward for letting him take away my life. I understood that not everything was wrong with the world and that maybe there was hope for joy to come back. I remember when I was young and would cry constantly about how my father didn’t love me, and my Papa would calm me down by saying, “Don’t see it as, ‘He doesn’t love me’, see it as, ‘Others love me’..” As a child I didn’t understand the thought process behind this silly saying, but as a young adult, I understand the silver lining. Although losing him was a pain that I will never be able to mask, I have been able to pull away the look on life that there is always a silver lining.
Many things came from the taking of a loved one, but one thing that impacted my life harshly, was that of spirituality. The three weeks that I spent at the hospital, next to the dying man that I loved ever so deeply, I was brought down to my lowest. I was so invested in this one person, that the taking of him was also the taking of me. It got to the point that depression wasn’t a word that even came close to describing of my suffering, and I was the one that was worried about most. In being so lost, I was finally able to accept the fact that I cannot do everything on my own; I need someone to lean on, to support me. For some, this person to turn to is a mother or father, or even a friend, but for myself, my rock was the man that had saved me once before. In my darkest time, I came closer to God than I had ever been. I had been so naïve before, that it was too much of sign of weakness for me to ask for help that I had...

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