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“Through The Eyes Of A Victim”

2146 words - 9 pages

The staggering truths about domestic violence are evident in every town, city, state and nation! Furthermore, it is a criminal offense that does not discriminate against color, creed, gender, or socioeconomic status! Marcy was all too familiar with the horrific dangers of this crime. In fact, domestic violence took Marcy through her own private hell and learning the difficult lessons of life, including the ones that no one discloses. At the budding age of nineteen, her first true love, Barry, was promising marriage with the hopes of starting a family. Barry was charming, romantic, and completely devoted to Marcy! He seemingly was the perfect man, the man of her dreams, and the man who ...view middle of the document...

Although, most crimes are against women, the statistics show most victims commonly are subject to repeat offenders. Nearly fifteen percent of these women have sustained reportable injuries as a result of intimate partner abuse that include rape, physical violence, and or stalking. (Get the facts and figures, 2014)
There are too many times to recount all the bruises, cuts, and broken bones. The countless police visits to my door all ended with the same seven words, “No, I don’t want to press charges.” There was not a flashing sign saying this is a dangerous situation or these are warning signs. Avoiding any conversation that might make him angry, walking on eggshells, and being the blame for everything that may or may not happen should have been a clue, but the first stage of battered women’s syndrome is denial. There are generally four stages of Battered Woman’s Syndrome. Stage one occurs when the abused woman denies the abuse to others and to herself genuinely believing there is not a problem. Most battered women will make excuses for the abuser and faithfully believe their partner when they say that this will never reoccur. Guilt is the second stage occurring when the realization arises that there is a problem and this is not a normal situation. She or he may recognize they are a victim and the situations may be repeated. Frequently during this stage, women will “take the blame” for the beatings they may receive and question their own character trying harder to live up to the “expectations” of their partners. Stage three, enlightenment, occurs when the battered woman become conscious that no one is deserving of a beating. She begins to realize that her partner has a problem and the beatings are not justified. Meanwhile, she will stay with her abuser as an endeavor to keep the relationship in tact with the anticipation of potential change. Finally, responsibility allows the woman to grasp the fact that her abuser has a hindrance that only he can repair. The knowledge of not being able to assist the abuser through words or actions gives the victim a clearer vision of an escape. The steps necessary to leave the abuser are more evident at this stage. (Hunter, Raquel, 2014)
The cycle of abuse was rolling ahead full steam. A beating, just to show that he is the boss, followed by guilt, endless promises, and effortless excuses saying it will be the last time was the mantra of the entire relationship. Our life was revolving from horrific encounters into peaceful days of customary living with no hostility. He would be in constant scrutiny of every situation, trying to imagine what was done wrong and how the punishment could be administered. The faithful day would always come that something, anything, or even nothing would set him off and he would make the punishment a reality. The cycle can repeat hundreds or thousands of times in a relationship and have a different length of time in each phase. The cycle of abuse may last one week, one month,...

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