“Oh, great! You’ve got boobs!” She exclaimed, as she stabbed her pointy index finger into my left breast.
I did not see that coming and the gesture took me aback. I was not sure whether to feel violated at the hands of the manager of an internationally branded apparel store, or to feel proud at the remark. I paused momentarily to gather myself together before saying anything.
“So, is that a good thing or a bad thing?” I asked, my voice wavering slightly, still being in the recovery process.
“Oh, that’s great, honey,” Sheila, the manager chirped, trying to poke my other breast as well. I did a Matrix to sway away from the incoming projectile! “You’re gonna be an instant crowd puller!”
That did not help my confusion. “Ummmm, so, this is good, how?”
“Sweetie, you’ll be in charge of the lingerie section here,” Sheila explained. “Now you wouldn’t want someone without boobs suggesting the overweight, middle aged women that they should be buying. That’s just stupid! You, on the other hand, are perfect for both the boobless and the booby!”
I squirmed at the exaggerated use of the word ‘boob’ in its different forms. Nonetheless, as long as I did not have to deal with men or have any sales targets or anything, I was okay with it.
“I’m sorry sweetie, I didn’t get you,” Sheila said, interrupting my train of thought.
“Oh, nothing! I probably was thinking a little loudly!” I replied, sheepishly.
“So, what do you think?”
“Sign me up!” I replied emphatically. “I’ll do it!”
“Wonderful!” Sheila exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air rather exaggeratedly and slid a sheet of paper across the table. “Why don’t you sign here on this contract while I get you the t-shirt you would be wearing while on duty.”
“Great,” I said, beaming.
It was two weeks before Christmas, a rather foggy Saturday, when I bumped into Katherine. It was as though the weather was apt for such a rendezvous, dreary and murky.
I was fidgeting and pulling the neck of my ridiculously tight t-shirt, to get some air to breathe when there was a tap on my shoulder. I turned around only to see that the lady who had called me was lost in thought, staring at my torso.
I faked a cough. “Can I help you, Ma’am?”
No response. It seemed as though her eyes grew wider staring at my breasts. That’s right, woman! Take a good, hard look at my twins!
Her hands moved as though they were going to grab them. I stepped back a little. Do you want me to jump up and down a little and shake ‘em in your face?
“Ma’am?” I said again, waving my hands in her line of sight. Nothing budged! She was elderly, difficult to make out her age behind all that heavy makeup. She had jet black hair that fell over her shoulder. She wore an expensive looking long knee length black gown and wore long woolen gloves. But what got me all boiling was the animal skin she had draped over her shoulders.
“So, how many animals had to die for that?” I thought aloud.
“Say what?” the woman replied.
“Oh, nothing,” I replied, smiling. Finally! “I was...