Understanding Flaws and Boundries in a Friendship

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FRIENDS WITH FLAWS
How do you feel about having a friend with problems? You may already have. And guess what? Your friend may feel the same way about you. The point is, no one is perfect, so don’t expect to find a perfect friend. Have you heard the saying “don’t sweat the small stuff”? You may have small mishaps at times, but is it worth ruining a friendship? Don’t stay angry for long. If you have an argument, talk about it and settle it. Real friends care enough about each other to forgive and forget.

If you have issues that are too difficult to resolve, then maybe you’re in an incompatible relationship. If so, this unhealthy relationship isn’t worth continuing. But be cautious and don’t allow one incident to end a good relationship that may be worth salvaging. If you are uncertain, don’t harshly end a friendship. Let emotions calm down and take time to look at the situation logically. Then you’ll know what to do. Many best friend relationships have problems, but that is common. Accepting friends and their flaws is the best way to make and keep a good friend for a lifetime.

LESSONS LEARNED IN THIS SECTION:
Be prepared to accept a friend with flaws.
You have flaws too.
If you have a dispute, calm down before you talk about it.
Learn to forgive and forget.
Don’t let small spats end a good friendship.

RESPECT BOUNDARIES OR ELSE
A person in a co-dependent relationship who doesn’t understand healthy boundaries can ruin a good friendship. Knowing your boundaries simply means understanding acceptable limits and respecting them.

Here is a story about a co-dependent relationship. Remember the lady I told you about earlier who knocked on doors to make friends? I have another story to tell about her. This time it involves me and shows how improper boundaries ruined what could have been a lifelong friendship.

When Carol moved to town I was still a very shy and insecure person. She was very outgoing and made friends easily. Through no effort on my part, she befriended me, and caused my walls to come down. She was always upbeat and encouraging and I needed that.

I never had a friend like her before who genuinely wanted to be with me and do things together. What I didn’t recognize is she was like that with all of her friends. Trouble was, I wanted to be with her all of the time. The fact that she had a family and a job didn’t matter to me. Anytime there was an opportunity to be with her, that’s what I desired above all else.

I wanted to be the one who sat next to her and talked to her. If others wanted...

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