The statement “A relationship is only unhealthy if it becomes physically violent” could be supported by people who feel that because verbal abuse, lowering of self esteem and other repercussions of mentally or spiritually unhealthy relationships are not directly threatening to your physical health it remains “healthy”. A healthy relationship can be defined as being a reciprocal relationship where there is respect, empathy, compassion, acceptance, cooperation and listening for both people in the relationship. (St Joseph’s University Philadelphia, 2005) the other point of view is with out all of these elements a relationship can not be considered healthy, not just because of physical violence. In this essay I will be discussing how relationships that are bought, involve loss of interaction with family and friends as well as relationships which include verbal abuse all equate to unhealthy relationships. Physical Violence is not the only cause of an unhealthy relationship.
An unhealthy relationship can be a relationship where one of the persons in the relationship is consistently buying gifts for the other. The negative implications of this behaviour are the attempt to “buy” the other person, to treat them as a possession rather than as another human being and when the other person wants to break-up, go out with friends etc, the partner may hold these gifts against them causing them to feel guilty. This guilt can cause feelings of worthlessness and lead to issues such as low self esteem and depression. (Kaszina, A. 2005)
An example of this type of behaviour is when a guy buys his girlfriend a new phone, when the he rings her while she is out with friends she might choose to hang up instead, he later makes comments such as:
“I bought you that phone and you have to answer it when I call you!”,
the girlfriend later decides to break up with him, he says:
“I have given you so much, I gave you that phone! And you are trying to leave me!”
This causes her to feel guilty and stays in the relationship against her will and the longer she stays in this relationship the guiltier she feels, she feel she is worthless as she spirals into depression.
Serious mental issues such as depression can lead to even more desperate and drastic situations such as self harming and suicide equating in an unhealthy relationship.
A relationship in which affections are bought rather than earned, feelings are manipulated and the power in the relationship is unbalanced leads to poor mental health in the other person along with a lack of respect and cooperation causing the relationship to become unhealthy.
Just as trying to “possess” the other person in a relationship negatively impacts on the other person, rejecting your friends and family while in a relationship negatively impacts on you. If when in a relationship, all you want to do is spend time with them, you are excited about being around them and you never feel like being around other people, you begin to distance...